Why am I not on Linux?

Dude, you are so ignorant you should refrain from posting things you've never even tried, if you don't mind me saying that. You re making a joke of yourself lolz... but please continue, it's entertaining...

I generally agree with this, many others here do too for the most part.

Could you guys calm down please?

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My Mionix mouse has onboard storage for up to 5 profiles

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  • Grabs Popcorn and Waits Patiently *
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I have a Logitech m705 marathon, the buttons are somewhat easy to configure. Most distributions should allow changing keyboard shortcuts. From there you just have to press the button that you want to change, e.g. forward or backward on the mouse, and then change the action from a list or make one yourself. If you use ALSA for your audio then the command "amixer set Master 5+" and "amixer set Master 5-" should do the trick. If you want to switch back and forth it would take a little time to write command to rewrite the shortcut within itself, for example 5+1+0 keys would write to your shortcut config. This requires a little bit of work but you should be able to edit your shortcuts from a shortcut, at least in ubuntu, by using "dconf write ~/.config/dconf/user/org.gnome.settings-daemon.plugins.media-keys.custom-keybindings" (I haven't looked at this yet so you may have to poke around with dconf). Gnome's config file for shortcuts are found in ~/.gconf/desktop/gnome/keybindings, you should be able to use sed with a little help here.