What Would be Your Perfect Laptop?

In terms of look and feel I'd have to say the new 15" MacBook Pro. The keyboard, trackpad, and display are awesome. The laptop feels really solid. Magsafe chargers are also a lot more convenient and harder to break (no little pins to snap off or bend). BUT, there's a catch. It would need to have a Tux logo on the back instead of an Apple logo.



That looks really interesting. I think I'll look into that for my next laptop.

That looks really interesting.

My model has since been discontinued, but they now have models with desktop CPU's (not desktop class, actual Haswell and Broadwell desktop CPUs, in a laptop) and desktop class GPU's. They are worth a look if you need an actual desktop replacement. Of course they have more traditional (and thinner) models as well if you don't need a literal portable desktop.

Colorware used to do custom logos on Macbooks; I'm not seeing an option anymore except to paint it and remove the backlight. It's also pretty damn expensive...

The new Dell XPS 13 (Late 2015) is beautiful and if I were in the market for a laptop I would definitely purchase it.

13.3" 1080p
Intel i5-6200U
8GB DDR4
128GB PCIe SSD
USB Type C with USB 3.1 (Can dock it with just one cable!)
56whr battery

Somewhere around the 15" form factor
<5 lbs
I'm told Intels handle VMs better, so i7 anywhere north of 3.3Ghz, overclockable
At least 16Gb of RAM, overclockable..... ya know, 5 tabs in chrome
Specifically designed channeling for air cooling with a external fans for using it as a desktop replacement
At least 970M on board; ability to plug desktop GPUs into laptop
no more than 1920x1080 antiglare IPS panel
keyboard like the "white" macbooks except backlit
possibly a touchpad like that one as well
8hrs of battery doing everything but gaming
at least 1.5 hrs of battery if gaming on battery
M.2 SSD for boot, PCIe SSD for priorities/daily driving, 2TB spinny just because
priority of F keys over "laptop functions" with the whole Fn key setup; or ability to choose priority
can stand up to being literally tossed around in a backpack for ~5yrs or more

I'll give it 10 more years. In the meantime, I think I'll be ordering an Alienware cuz whatever

Same on everything except the CPU and RAM. I'd go 16GB RAM, and I'd do some kind of an AMD chip in a dream world where AMD has already released new DDR4 chips. I'd take an A10 APU as long as the thing had excellent drivers for Linux, but I hate fighting with GPU drivers.

The all metal body and smooth touch pad is a huge deal to me though. I also want a backlit keyboard, separate headphone/mic jacks (not the combined one like on a phone), and a USB port with a high enough amperage to charge a phone quickly. I'd really love a slot loading optical drive too, but only if it can be removed/replaced easily, no proprietary nonsense.

Amen. I'm after the same machine. I assume you've taken a look at the Surface Book and found some fault? It comes pretty darn close to what you've listed here: the graphics card seems to be a bit underpowered, and you have to use a USB Ethernet adapter or dock to get a wired connection. For me, the price tag and all of the first-gen teething issues steer me away, and it looks like you wouldn't need the touch functionality, but another couple of generations and this could be a more compelling product.

My Surface Pro 2 is fantastic. Aside from my wish that it was bigger and had a better track pad on the type-cover, it's perfect. Alas, the 3 or 4 wouldn't be perfect to me either, I like the Wacom pen much better than the N-trig, enough that I would rather deal with the smaller screen.

Dude, the surface book got me absolutely giddy. One of the problems with it is lack of ports. I need displayport/hdmi2 because this machine is my primary workstation. Additionally I run Linux as my primary OS for work, so losing the tablet aspect is also something I don't find all that appealing on a product where that's one of the primary features. I'm not one of the Linux guys that thinks giving money to apple or ms is a sin, if they make the best tool for the job I'll happily pay them.

Now having said that Razer got oh so very close with the very recently announced Blade (not stealth). It has a 970m, and it has USB-C, but it is missing wired ethernet. I'm actually sitting here thinking if daisy chaining an ethernet adapter to a displayport adapter would work, but then my price is pushing $2,500...

One that I considered heavily was the MSI GS40 Phantom. It ticks every one of my boxes and the price is pretty resonable. However, I'm reading the cooling system is a bit inadequate, so the thing runs the fans constantly. That is going to be a bad time if I'm presenting on my laptop in a conference room with folks on the phone, and if they kick on just while I'm at my desk, I'm sure my neighbors in the office wouldn't be too pleased either.

Hopefully next graphics cycle we'll have HDMI2 laptops and I'll only need to worry about the ethernet on USB-C. Hopefully I can also lower my graphics requirements as I already have a gaming rig. The 970m is just so video doesn't tear while presenting or so that my 4k doesn't choke trying to render text (which is the case on my current 4700HQ's built in graphics...and that's using a REALLY light weight window manager).

A lot of people will have different needs so this list may seem abstract, but it is what I NEED in a laptop

  • Ultra durable and liquid proof/resistant chassis

  • backlit keys /backlit inputs for quick ID in dim lighting

  • some sort of mechanism that lowers all keys at same time flush with chassis to make cleaning quick and easy.

  • screen size is not too important such as long as it is greater than 13"

  • HEAVILY impact resistant.

  • reinforced inputs to reduced cable wiggle.

  • Liquid resistant/ impact resistant screen.

  • LOTS of input options (USB 3-forward)

  • 16 gig RAM

  • Decent I7 or AMD equal (as long as it can search a VERY large library of media in a small amount of time.)

GPU can be on-board graphics for all I care, I don't game on laptops.

  • decent on-board audio through headphones. I do listen to music a LOT.

Something that's not obsolete the second you get it home from the store. And why is it the laptop functionality degrades so fast, but the bloatware it comes with updates constantly for 10 years? Maybe I answered my own question with my first statement.

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Why the H do they have to be bricked before you even pull them out of the box. Mine takes actual minutes to pull up a freakin page. But before the internet updates it worked perfect and fast, now it is bricked. I will be dammed if I am going to buy another one every few months. Those bastards!!! I will protest using this perfectly functional laptop that don't even work anymore. What a scam bricking our shit so we have to keep buying several times a year.

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Sounds like you need a Panasonic ToughBook

I hear you. It's the aesthetic GAMERRR design of the Blade line that steers me away, but if they added an Ethernet port, that would be might enticing.

I've been messing around with the touch Unity 8 / Mir interface on a Surface Pro, as I believe Wendell has. It's a barren wasteland in terms of features and still extremely janktastic, not something I'd use in production anytime soon, but could be something in a couple of years. I'd love to have the full Linux experience with touch and stylus input on an x86 tablet, but we're still a ways off.

The TB does fit MANY of the things on my list.