I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I'm generally and slowly becoming a failure. I've repeated some of my college classes at least twice, and might be facing a second academic probation despite already being registered for the next semester (and I currently can't access my transcript grades cause the college site is down), with barely any motivation to keep going to college to become a biochemist. And now that my dad's GI Bill is being used to pay for the rest of my college, I feel even more pressured by my parents to try harder at college.
There's my sob story, with little to no idea on what to do next.
UPDATE: So this might be more of an update, or more of an idea.
I've probably come to the idea that sitting in a lab doing tedious and nearly repetitive tasks is not for me (it never was). I've always craved some adventure, wanting to have that adrenaline rush. So, what if I happened to join the military? If I did, I would at least want to make it as high on the prestige list as possible - talking about Delta Force or SEALs prestige - so I have a solid groundwork.
Whether or not I'm gonna stick with it remains up the in air. But it's something I've honestly considered. I'm just gonna need some prolonged though on it.
The question must be asked: what are your learning-strategies?
If this is failing you (learning-strategies), what are you doing to help correct them?
What I'm alluding to: is how to improve your learning-abilities, and if this is the case, then are you able to access a 'mentor' to improve your grades?
'Knowing how to learn'
Developing a 'failure mind-set' is not conducive to 'success' either.
Can I say the I have Bi-polar so while I don't know you, I really identified with your comments.
I am not saying that you have what i have, I mere point out that you should speak to someone knowledgeable about mental health.
I think that the chances you being fine are good regardless of how far away it may feel. If you deal with things the right way. The first step of that is you must "Be kind to yourself" the second is talk to that is skilled in mental health. I can't tell how to fix things. I can only tell you my story so feel free to ask .
I am sort of in the same boat. Been on academic probation once so far. There is probably 4 classes that I have received an F in and have passed them on the second attempt and 2 classes that were F's 2 semesters consecutively that have passes on the third attempt. A few classes have been overwritten by other classes according to my state's college requirements.
I don't know if I have some specific disorder or not but all I know is that I become morbidly depressed to a point of not wanting to go to class or any assignments.
Regardless of my experience, it is improving. Question: Are you a procrastinator?
If so, try to become organized and create a set schedule and weekly routine and stick to it. Possibly create a daily planner that spans into a weekly planner. Most professors provide the class breakdown by weeks in their syllabus, print it out or copy it down correlate with your planner. Also, make sure you have a consistent sleeping schedule. Maybe even before classes you plan to go for a walk in the morning if possible or a shower.
Question: Are you easily distracted by thing such as your cell phone, computer, gaming, etc.?
Try to go to a place where you can concentrate and know that you are going to get work or study done. Try to give yourself little rewards throughout the week, perhaps you complete a writing assignment, or a homework assignment, then reward yourself with whatever pleases you.
These are just a few things I could think of. I hope you improve academically and continue improving.
I feel your pain. It sounds like you are doing OK. Look at me as a cautionary tale. I am an old man 54 loser that has been in your position. Long story short, I was pressured into following a career in engineering even though I am an artist. I was a good engineer, but I never liked it and have never been happy. Because of my loser attitude I have been taken advantage of and never made the big bucks that was the only reason for being an engineer. But I had a very wise boss who told me one day...
"If you choose a career you love, you will never work a day in your life."
keeping with the trite cliches: "The Master has failed more times than the amateur has even tried" "Fall down seven times, get up eight." "Failure is always an option" - meaning if you challenge yourself, failing is OK.
Hang in there, follow your dreams and it sounds like you are asking the right questions. if you keep trying and keep working no one can label you a failure. Especially not yourself.
I can relate, I suggest seeking someone to speak about things with, just verbalising internal issues often helps create new insights / epiphanies, or will make you understand an issue that you previously were not aware of and then once identified new strategies can be implemented to overcome these issues better armed. You may also realise that you are doing something unwanted/unenjoyable etc, you may not. Verbalising has always helped me personally and it is a major factor for most people in resolving/understanding issues. (i suggest someone who is not family/friend, but in a professional capacity.
Well, before college, I was told I should be an artist, cause my dad said, and I quote, "had a god-given talent." I knew that being an artist wouldn't be able to sustain me, financially and etc., and then I became interested in Biology, and consequently Biochemistry. However, realizing the corruption of the pharmaceutical companies, the main objective and reasons to become a biochemist are null.
After this past semester, when I got my A in English, my teacher told me I had an amazing writing ability, and that I should do something with it.
About midway in the semester, I've been wondering about who I was as a person, both internally and externally. So I've been literally wanting to just leave and travel everywhere, I guess to - as cheesy and cliche as it sounds - find myself.
Im more or less in the EXACT same position dude. Honestly I dont know what to tell you because for me, it seems im cursed in some aspects and extremely fortunate in others. I was dependent on my GI bill but just couldn't stick it out in school. I would just miss classes for absolutely no good reason and I cant figure out why but of course I got dropped for too many absences. I knew it would happen and that I would stop receiving my GI bill money but couldn't motivate myself to give enough of a shit for some reason.
So then there I was spending my last bit of money on weed to forget my problems (weed for me = alcohol for others I guess) and then my grandma calls me and tells me about someone she met who was a fellow veteran and was willing to help me get things straight with the VA after hearing my story (she always talks to much about business that isnt hers...but this time im glad lol). When I met him he explained a lot about the process of getting my compensation where it should be (its a long story but a misdiagnosis led to me almost dying and several consecutive surgeries after that).
He also got me a job that started me working the very next day. Im at work right now, its the chillest most bullshit job ever lol but its decent, easy money until my claims with the VA go through (which usually takes about a year). I dont know what it is but I have always had IMPECCABLE timing and things just seem to fall right into my lap when I need it the most. I know this has probably been zero help, but im just relating to your situation (and im really trying to kill the last hour of this 12 hour shift...) but maybe the right opportunity just hasnt presented itself yet, so just try to keep your head up and your eyes open.
Having gone through a similar situation in the past few months. My only advice to give is to take a deep breath, sit down and write down what you want out of life. List motivations, desires, passions, hobbies, etc. It helped me remember why I chose to go to grad school, instead of getting a job and moving somewhere new. I had forgotten why I stayed in school and because of that I lost all motivation to want to finish. After listing those things out it helped me think about where to go next. I can't say it will do the same for you but acting on improving your future rather than reflecting on your past will definitely help you with thinking positively.
Also, failure isn't as bad as you make it out to be. Everyone makes mistakes and don't let others hold that against you. The only bad failure is one that you didn't learn from. From what you said about your grades after taking those courses again; it looks like you knew that already.
I was in a similar position with college overall, however, currently I'm having issues with math.(IDK if it's me or the instructor, though I've had her 2 different classes and I failed each one with having to retake a second time.) For me to correct the issue I decided join the National Guard. I learned quite a few lessons about how to personally maintain myself and be motivated while fully utilizing them. Though, I am not saying join the military, just that you may need to find something to help you get out of your "slump". Also what's previously been stated can help like start writing a schedule out and stick to it. Exercise with a proper diet and proper sleep schedule could help. Maybe reduce or even cut out time wasters(i.e. tv, gaming) entirely. This is just food for thought. It's all up to you on how you wish to handle it and live your life.
I think there is a lot of good advice in this thread- my 2 cents is try and predict your future hindsight. So I would tell you this, you might not feel motivated now, but the you many years from now will be very pissed that you missed out on finishing paid-for college. There are some amazing people that do not finish college, or even high school for that matter, but I wouldn't focus on them- get that piece of paper (degree), it does things- seriously.
In my older age I can look at myself more critically than before, and IMO for a lot of people, not just myself, we are our worst enemies- our own selves. For myself, it took a lot of plain'old discipline to finish college- and even at that I copped out and went with an easy major over my original goal, EE---- and I regret this each and every day. But I have the GI Bill and have family not so fortunate to be able to afford college, so out of respect of the hard work ethic I've seen within my family, I pushed through even when I gave zero f*cks- it also helped to have a chip on my shoulder that if officers I had to take orders from did it, I could too. So just try to hunker down and get'er done, the future you will be very appreciative that you stuck through it. A lot of people do not work within their degree's discipline, but having the degree just can't hurt-- it may not always give you a leg-up, but it doesn't hold you back. I work with some very talented people right now, some without degrees and because of the HR department and rules set by the company, their ability to promote is very hampered. My degree might be in basket weaving, but its pulling some weight right now.
With biochemistry being tainted to you now, even if you do not change your major, I believe I've read that the costs for equipment in that field have dropped so much, a lot of biochemists have small labs at home and are able to do amazing things at home (just like with EE and computer projects for us now). So maybe you are selling yourself short and can still make a big impact with that education.
Lastly, when I griped with professors that what I was learning will not be relevant in the future, I remember one math professor explaining its not so much the end result of knowing the formula, but what that trip helped develop (brain development). Later in life I totally agree.
Pick ONE major and STICK TO THAT MAJOR... if you meander about college, you'll end up being 30, without a degree, topping out at ~$20 an hour doing dead-end manual labor... you'll be able to pay bills, but you'll never make enough to do what you want in life... fuck finding yourself... that's a waste of time that you'll regret forever... I'm speaking from personal experience here...
I could argue working in a field you don't like, but are competent in, is the best possible scenario... because no matter what you do as a job, you will learn to hate that job... so you might as well not ruin a perfectly good source for a later hobby that you're interested in by working in that field...
So basically... if you absolutely cannot stomach one more second of biochemistry, then switch to a major that uses the same class base and finish a degree ASAP... life in the US is a rat race to make enough money to be able to do things that are fun, and the sooner you get a degree, the sooner you can get relevant experience... most jobs don't pay well out of college or require 5-10 years of experience for consideration... after you have that minimum experience, there's a lot of possibilities and finances cease to be such a problem...
If you enjoy writing start writing about biochem? If you enjoy art, start sketching (etc) biochem subject matter? a blog about it even? articles? even if they are just for urself. But in all honesty, denizens oif the net can only offer advice, and anecdotal advice at that, i suggest going and talking to someone even if it is a school counselor just to solidify (ergo understanding and managing) the issues you have as i mentioned in my previous post. I must iterate that there is nothing wrong with talking with someone about these things and it is more common than people realise.
my bit of "advice" is that you are on a "journey" to finding what you want, you do not need to have the answers now, and it is ok not to have them now. This can make things difficult when motivating yourself, and it is why short term goals are important to establish, don't focus on what you want in 10 years, develop short term objectives that work towards a series of things which can be both professional and personal. It is important to feel that you are progressing and achieving something, as to not do so can be demoralising and why long term goals (like pursuit of biochem) can be hard to conceptualize/realise as the benefits are not immediate. Do not make the mistake of thinking you are alone in having these thoughts/difficulties and don't pander to perfectionism as an excuse. in short the best ways for understanding this and coming to terms with it is being able to enunciate the issues that may be subconscious/unknown in a manner that can only be achieved by "unbiased", external input which helps you formulate strategies and more importantly understand them yourself.
I don't know how old you are or what your life experience is... but your advice is a bunch of hippy nonsense that'll have OP fishing for meals out of a sewer or bleeding his parents dry...
People know who they are... life takes dedication to be successful... everybody has to start at the bottom of the totem pole and work their way up (unless you're Donald Trump and can ask daddy for a small million dollar loan to start your own business with)... without a college degree OP is giving up hundreds of thousands in earnings... each year OP isn't enrolled in a 401k plan he's giving up thousands in both his earnings and matched equivalents...
The thing is, every company you work for, NO MATTER WHAT THE INDUSTRY, is a company that is exists to make money... If there were ever ONE FOR SURE truth, in a capitalistic society, this is it... antibiotics may well not exist soon because they aren't profitable... we'll never have a cure for cancer because curing it doesn't MAKE MONEY... pharmaceutical companies would MUCH rather bleed you dry on your death bed than take a clean $10k for the cure...
Money makes the world go around... you don't have to like... you can severely oppose it... the world doesn't care... it keeps spinning and it costs 40 billion dollars for every degree it turns...
As for college... there is no "I'm not smart".... there is no "I'm a failure"... there is only "I applied myself, took college seriously, and made good grades" vs "I didn't apply myself to the classes I wasn't really interested in and that neglect caused me to fail"....
At one time I thought I just sucked at math... then I actually started doing the homework for it and low and behold, I don't suck at math... I just hate repetition and the process of it... but when you actually do it, it's the ONLY subject that isn't open to debate... you either get the problem right or get the problem wrong... and it's all on you and how you follow the rules and processes...
I wanted to go to Colorado and Florida for 2 consecutive years and I served tables to pay rent, had fun, was "finding myself", and as it turns out... I FOUND MYSELF... I found that serving tables sucks.... Florida is sand and water... and Breckenridge is too damn expensive to live in on a server's wage...
Not doing something with your life just makes you a liability on someone else's or on the nation as a whole... you know yourself, trust me... I didn't discover an altruism in my meandering about life other than my Dad gets pissed when he has to pick me up from Colorado and pay $2000 to break a lease agreement cause serving tables doesn't pay bills...
Not having direction in college or not sticking to the direction you already decided on 3 years ago may well be a major contributor to the national debt :P
You're going to go to work and eat out of a trough no matter what career path you pick... some professions have bigger troughs than others... but you'll do it till the day you retire or the day you start your business... get over it... get your head out of your ass... finish your degree or transfer to something that can soak up the classes us taxpayers have paid for and start making real money/getting experience...
I think you misunderstood me and have as such responded to nothing I said. I at no point said to stop doing his/her degree, to the contrary I implied, and advocate continuing it, to extrapolate upon this I inferred that if he/she does not feel like he/she is 'enjoying it' add the things he/she does enjoy doing, to it (drawing etc), and establish short term goals to help achieve long term ones.
i further highlighted that any advice given here is anecdotal at best (which was highlighted perfectly by you), and due to contextual nature of the problems faced, it is best to seek advice on how best to proceed as it will deal with specific issues he/she may face.
In your failure to understand my comments/advice I can see why you may be content with doing something "that you are competent with", but this is not the best for all and in fact can severely impact different people. Your advice reflects your own experiences and ineptitude's and it is a failing to suggest that this is reflective of everyone also you contradict yourself.... that is exactly what 'finding yourself' entails:
some may enjoy it, others not, some may start their own business in it, or gain insight into it that can be applied later in life to it. your comments are inane and lack any intelligence, so please avoid the ad hominem criticisms and inferences, especially when you make yourself look like a daft, old cynic who has continually failed and has no enjoyment out of what they do on a daily basis, because this is not so with everyone.
this is just dumb, "may be" you are again failing to understand the context of my comments and also showing ignorance in your comments.
yea i'd agree here, except if you were elsewhere in the world where degrees are more difficult, ive seen the content of a lot of US courses and they are a joke. Also i must point out that despite what people think "intelligence" cannot be compensated for by hard work, if you are intelligent and hard working you do have a greater chance of doing something you and enjoy and doing well at it.
cant comment on this, not Amercan (thank fuck lmao - shit political system/policy/social etc) except for the fact that people often do not know who they are, especially these days due to a series of factors which have changed drastically since the time you seem to have attended college/university (which i cbf explaining tbh) - think of the eg of mid life criis and why they are an occurrence - and it is important to do both consecutively lmaoi at no point said they were mutually exclusive...
so in short your comments are out of context, lack context, lack understanding, lack any modicum of evidence (except anicdotal, and are for the most part dumb assertions.
in short i stand by my advice: 1. talk with someone to explain/express yourself and use them to help develop strats/plans to deal with issues/understand new ones 2. incorporate things you do like from your personal life into your professional one 3. establish short term goals to work towards your long term goals as it gives a series of accomplishments that can motivate and provide a tangible progression whilst working towards a distant one
I had academic probation 3 separate times in college. I re-took some of my gen-ed and english classes more than twice. It took 5 years, but I graduated with a CPE and had an overall GPA of 2.7
I got my first job through a guy I didn't even know in a PC gaming clan. It's for a big tech company in silicon valley.
The interview was 6 hours of nothing but white-board programming. I knew my stuff when it came to programming but could never pay attention to boring school classes. I never even put my GPA on the application and they never asked for it. :D
My point???
You aint out of the game just yet. Don't let silly colleges hold you back. Don't get me wrong, definitely graduate... get that stupid piece of paper that everybody wants you to have. After that, the world is a playground. All you need is confidence, hard work, focus, and a little bit of luck.
.... Are you serious? Just because your advice is completely ambiguous and politically correct whereas mine is life in reality.... then as such, logically I must lack intelligence and understanding?
Just so we establish a background on the situation I'm in and where my anecdotal evidence comes from... I currently work as a CNC Prgrammer / IT / Process Engineer for a small business that more than doubled it's profit this year and did the same thing the year before due to a large influx of business from Volkswagon in the Chattanooga area and also due to my personal advances into 3D machining and 5th axis programming... I started there 4 years ago as shop bitch making $12/hr... Why? Because I meandered about college and switched my major from Physics to Graphic Design... I perceived Physics as absent of career options, but I loved it... Instead, I got my BA in Graphic Design and started my own company (which was a hobby of mine, I've always been a very good artist). I did a reasonable amount of business (averaging $40k a year over a period of 5 years working from home using my website and startup logo design / webmastering / family or pet illustrations as my main income. The problem with my business model was I couldn't afford to expand to hiring other employees due to cash flow of the off-season in between Christmas and Summer being hard to sustain growth and even if I could, I spent too much time acquiring customers to do the work for them... so I decided to go BACK to school and get a degree in Mechanical Engineering... the classes were mostly full and they offered a Machine Tool Technology certificate at my local community college that fast-tracked into a BA for Industrial Technology (which is basically a Mechanical Engineering degree)... so I did that... I got a job at my current company after my first semester because I won a manual machining competition in Chattanooga and placed 2nd in the state... so I just fell short of going to the national comp in Kansas City... I went to my current company despite better paying opportunities elsewhere because it was: A) a small business that I could grow into and B) one of the better programmers in Tennessee was there to learn from (who quit after my first year, but I still talk to on a regular basis)... Bottom line... I'm doing good now, but I could have been doing a lot better had I heeded the "anecdotal" advice from my dad to stick with Physics...
My dad would be a doctor right now if he hadn't dropped out of college to raise my sister...
Since getting that job, I've not had time to complete my Engineering degree because I work on avg 50 hours a week, but I've been promoted 3 times to my current position and make a LOT more... Had I started on this route when I was 18, I'd be on track to command 80-90k in salary... Had I gotten into a company that did Graphic Design after I finished my degree and had the success I've had, I'd also be in line for about 70-80k... and if I had the success in Physics I've had elsewhere, who knows what I may or may not have accomplished?
You can be dismissive about anecdotal knowledge all you like, but to say that someone else's life experience poses no gain to yourself is to dismiss all the knowledge of the world before your own conscience reality...
So to address the things you had a problem with...
I can imagine "finding yourself" was a waste of time for a vast majority of people... there are surely a few that came to amazing conclusions through this, but the statistical chance of "finding yourself" being beneficial because you're frustrated with college is negligible AT BEST if not nonexistent...
What ignorance am I showing? Tuition in the US costs an avg of ~$3000 per semester not including books... If every person in the US, which is around 322 million people took just ONE semester of classes that had no relevance to their studies and were government funded... it would result in 966 billion in national debt... now let's say only 10% of the population is "college-bound" and were government supported, which is much more accurate... and lets say they all take 3 semesters of curriculum which they don't use (which is also much more accurate)... that's 289.8 billion... suppose these same people all switch majors entirely where none of their classes apply... then you start from 0 again and another 289.8 billion goes into it before we're back where they were in their education...
All of that sounds nonsensical right? Well Bernie Sanders, who is running for president and doing quite well, is proposing government funded college... So now we have an extra 300 billion invested in this just because people were unsure what they wanted to do with themselves... I'm sorry you don't live in America... it's the greatest country in the world... but excuse me if I'm touchy about the money I pay out of my paycheck that I work hard for every week being utterly dissipated by people that are "unsure what they want to do in life"... or just dismiss me as being ignorant without any backing to your statement, sir...
And I would quote your last response but it made no sense... bunch of anti-America nonsense dribble... I'm not talking shit about your country, sir... no reason to hate on mine...
A) You don't live in mine or OP's country, so you have no grounds to even be giving advice for a capitalistic society in the first place... ESPECIALLY concerning the fact that you've never been to a US college to experience our courses and have no idea what they contain or the professors' credibility in teaching them... I will add that I've had some brilliant physics professors and equally credible art theory and engineering professors...
B) Ignorant people don't take anecdotal advice from people that have gone through the same thing they have. They assume it to just be anecdotal and nothing to gain from... Intelligent people learn through other people's experience and don't beat their head through walls to find an entrance... Of course the more intelligence you have, the easier it is for you to pick up concepts... but even the most dormant mind, through enough hard work and study, can learn ANYTHING in the pool of knowledge that is there to soak up....
C) I have no idea where you are from, sir, nor does it matter for this point... but in America we aren't interested in guidance counselors holding your hand through life... If we have an interest in something, then we pursue it... We pursue it to the end of the Earth and then we go into space and pursue it farther... Everybody has setbacks... Everybody has problems... There IS an establishment which we must overcome to become great, but one must work hard and achieve that greatness through perseverance... I offered my pessimistic point of view to save years of OP's life fighting through this establishment... and it's the right of himself to heed my advice or waste time doing nonproductive things...
The pharmaceutical industry is blatantly built for profit... not just here... everywhere... it's against a lot of basic human rights that science hasn't progressed beyond the value of a dollar... I recognize that, OP recognizes that... everybody recognizes that... but if OP takes that position in biochemistry, finishes the degree and makes good money producing drugs that may or may not improve society, at least he makes a wage that is substantial enough to acquire happiness through his off days... and maybe he pushes into a breakthrough that he can afford to fund one day through his own company because he's not eating off the streets trying to "find himself"....
you still don't get it, i never advocated "finding yourself" in the way you seem to think i did, you continually misunderstand my statements and have taken what i said out of context, this is why i said you lack capacity, nothing else. I must also point out that you employ multiple fallacies and contradictions in making your points also. Politically correct bahaha... just further shows you don't get my advice to the OP, hey how about actually talking about the issues he is facing instead of all your woe be me sad life story regrets.
i took a few years of uni, went overseas, traveled learnt two languages (pretty much 3...) came back studied and achieved it because of my ability to put my studies in perspective as a result of my time off (which i am not advocating in this context btw - specifically said to speak to someone lol). Now have two degrees 1. government - international security and counter terrorism 2. Psychology both of which i got while working full time going for another in computer science after i finish a masters in govt
I am not dismissing it, again you do not grasp the implications, I say anecdotal because, it is contextually relevant and what is true for you is not true for all, for multiple reasons. Anecdotal evidence is not evidence, the same as correlation and causation can be spurious, yes it is relevant but it is not how the real world works.
the other thing with anecdotal evidence is this; My friend graduated with high honours in engineering, first job out of college was on 220k per anum, he has just quit that job after five years because he hates it, and it does not challenge him and he would not be satisfied if he continued in that role. He has reapplied to college and will study medicine and become a dr.
again, my point is that context matters, and to offer advice only from the basis of your experience is flawed, and poor advice.
I believe this is why i advocated seeking advice and stressed the importance of context. I don't really need to live in the US to understand it either, lmao (another fallacy). again you misconstrue what i say in regards to education there I believe I said "most of the courses" with the explicit point being that some of the courses there are farcical, the course work in comparison to other places is often a joke because the system in america is flawed for numerous reasons which for brevities sake (and my own), are outside the remit of this post.
hmmm you still fail to understand how you contradicted yourself here multiple times?
you do realise that i dismissed you because you made a statement without backing it up? That was my point lmao.... and your comments above are erroneous and goes to no lengths to justify your previous statement and is once again full of fallacies.... But I don't think you understand this.
... again you misunderstand words written consecutively and again daft fallacies lmao.... where do you get this BS from lmao? - truistical fallacies LOL etc etc
HAHAHAHAHAHA.... dude... lmao... again... wait for it...... misunderstand, multiple contradictions and FALLACIES!?!?! (common theme here lol)
I see that this conversation will be a waste of time, and this is about the OP, I still fail to see how any of my advice was not well thought out and structured and how anything you have said has refuted how my advice would be bad to follow. please stop wasting my time and the OPs by any further comments that do not deal with the issues the OP outlined in a rational manner.
PS @Aethyr hey, I may have some interesting stuff relating to biochem depending on what you may be interested in, and i assume since you are a fan of TS that it may be of interest to you. To be a little less vague but future diverging applications of the biochem industry/tech/nano tech etc, as I said depends what else you are interested in.... let me know, and it does help to talk about things even if it only helps you understand the process and justify things to yourself.
