SO, the issue eventually came back… it was once the ARC was full. I made it full because I had a 480GB L2ARC attached to my raid 10 12TB zfs drive. After doing some reading it appears that thinking of L2ARC as a cache is completely faulse… in a way. It is an extension of ARC, but it is also kept track of by ARC so having too big of a L2ARC fills up the ARC and makes it less effective and eats up processes (mostlikely why my [txg_sync] was so high).
I removed that cache from the drive and I now have no caches, no SLOG, and the system IOWait has dropped to under 1 for the last day even with DVR records to a Spinner, while the OS is installed on a SSD seprate from the proxmox install SSD.
Do these conclusions sound correct? If I wanted a useful sized L2ARC for a 12T media library, and a 2TB DVR drive with 20GB of ram dedicated to ZFS ARC what sizes should I use? I also have that small 32 Intel Optaine Memory, can I still use it as a slog for safety of data till I get a UPS? Or should I just leave it alone? I appreciate any input.