Uhh hi im joel

I’ll start this in Ryan’s favorite fashion. Joel’s Genesis.
I remember my birth. I remember the utter loneliness that is the vast dark of the inner womb. The gustation process was the only thing i knew besides the warmth of entity which housed me in my celestial/physical form. Being born was putrid. I had never experienced these sensations. First a distant light - that grew ever larger until i emerged into what i could only describe as bitter cold. I was blinded, shrieking out in horror, dripping viscous primordial stew, and hating every moment of my new home. I gained vision. I was trapped in a plastic box! Would this be my existence? Long story short i was diagnosed with the rare histocytosis X, st. jude “froze” off my tumor?, made an international case study, miracle i lived an all that. so then i grew up. I could describe to you in detail every experience i had from learning to ride a bike, climb my first tree tree, kissing my first girl, learning to bleed, watching my family grow, and memorizing star wars… all of these things typical humans do. I will spare you the details, but in that time, in that terrible little city, in the great state of alaska, in these united states, on this earth, in this solar system, in the orion arm of this milky way, in this quadrant of the cosmos things were not so bad. That is until they were again.


Hi. Today, I experienced something I have not indulged in for over 3 months. I ate… a sandwich.

Veal and chicken topped with mushrooms. Two pieces of multigrain bread toasted; on one side aged white cheddar and on the other: humus.

OH MAN… that was a good experience.

Joking aside, welcome. I am glad you got to experience life and hope you experience tons more (good and bad).


this is certainly a memorable event. also perhaps you should be a writer? im getting a jojo feel here

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Yall, we got him. He’s here.

Its joel.