Seeking advise, I feel hopeless

TL;DR I don't really know what I want to do in life, I lack motivation, should I continue going to school where I may or may not accomplish anything productive?

sigh
I am really considering what I should do...
I may or may not go to school for the Fall semester, sure everyone tells me to go back and it will be good to keep going to school. The main problem is my motivation, I can fall off anywhere in the school year. Doesn't matter. So far I have spent 4 years at my college already and going to start my 5th. Feelsfuckingbad.jpg I have already racked up 90 passed units and 140 attempted units with a GPA of a grand total of ... wait for it ... 2.34.
Yeah, even better right.

Most of this time has been dedicated to the General Education Curriculum provided by the college and to be honest I have already forgotten 95% of the information I have learned.

Honestly, I have no clue what I want to do in life. I don't have any long term goals either.
The only thing I could ever think of was, wanting to make games. Not sure if I want to go along the lines of modeling and creating the environments and characters or developing games on the back end, and molding the game through code.

Honestly, I don't really have the talent for either. I have just lost motivation and really have no desire to pursue anything in life.

Maybe you just don't know what you wanna do is because you don't know what's available, there's a shitload of choices only in the tech industry. It seems to be common for the youth to want to start working with games and then lose interest when they realize it's pretty complex, afterall all they've done in their lives is play games lol and few have ever considered alternative fields for one reason or another.
Of course you're not limited to tech, there's surely something you find interesting apart from it.
Excersize. No, seriously. Take a jog a couple times per week and spend some time outside, feeds the brain with nice chemicals and you'll be able to think a lot clearer and feel generally more happy as well, then when you're more focused you can start thinking about future plans.

@Theonewhoisdrunk I have no answers for you as I feel hopeless in my situation and I don't even have the education you have. I wish you the best of luck with your mental health and so on in the future.

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Maybe you can look into if your school has guidance counseling and / or an intern program. I know I took every test I could to determine where my strengths and talents lie. If you can do a semester as an intern (in the games industry) you will be taking a break from academics, while learning the many functions of a gave developer. After an internship you may feel more focused and revitalized in your studies.

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This is an interesting podcast discussion that you maybe interested in.

...He firmly believes that human beings, when we evolved and developed and were hunter-gatherers, that there's a set of rewards. There's a rewards system setup in the human body, inside the very being the we embody, that don't get met in today's society, and it's one of the things that's causing depression.

One of the reasons causing this funk that people are in is that we're living our lives, many of us at least, in these very unfulfilling ways where you're going to this office with artificial light and you're doing something you don't want to do all day long, and then you get home and you're tired...and your body is just "what in the fuck is this?". Where suppose to be out in the field, we're suppose to be walking up hills, we're suppose to looking for animals or gathering vegetables. We're suppose to be doing all these things our bodies were designed to do, we're suppose to be in nature. Nature is like a medicine...there's a reward that you get from [nature] that's intensely soul filling.

They're basically saying that the goals and reward system that we got from our evolution as hunters-and-gatherers aren't being met in modern society. I think if you set a goal, or a mission in life that can act as a conduit for hunting-and-gathering that our ancestor's has evolved into, the reward will comes naturally from that. And its just matter of finding what you're mission is in life.

I saw this documentary, like two or three years ago about Japan culture, where some business men would leave the city for these remote Japan gardens where they spend the whole day, discouraged from talking, just meditating and this would help them re-evaluate or readjust and better deal with the synthetic-ness of modern life. Maybe that's what you need to do, go for a simple walk in nature like a park, or a hike, or maybe go meditate for long periods of time to get away from the synthetic bullshit materialism and synthetic life of modern civilization.

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Watching that made me wonder how as a society the whole dividing through difference thing sets people against each other and causes people to lose focus, creating hate & animosity and we can see that it might be a reason for increased depression rates ? I can't see how that's good for humanity or productivity. A happy country must be a more successful one.

Lol made me chuckle, but I am hardpressed to even take ibuprofen.

I think an internship maybe something worth looking into. I have been in this constant cycle of going to school and mostly possible nothing but playing games in my free time or working full time, by the time its all said and done I am just overwhelmed and don't want to do much else.

Fuck motivation. I'll give you the same link to an article that I gave @DeViLzzz
Good advice about how little impact motivation has on your success in life: http://www.wisdomination.com/screw-motivation-what-you-need-is-discipline/

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A bit of exercise may be in order for me as well. Perhaps setting some sort of small goal for the time being and then overtime expanding that goal over time as my body becomes more in tune.
Also one thing I am praying for is a few days off with my family. Days are requested but its the weekend of classes starting back up. This trip may save me as i have not been able to do much with my family due to work. Not only that get out much and explore nature. I had a professor that his hobby was bird watching. He could identify a distinct number of birds with only a few minor details. It was absolutely astonishing.

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Thank you very much for sharing this article. Opened a new way of thinking in my mind. I feel the discipline in my work flow. I did not understand it at first. I always questioned, even though it gets fustrating and annoying at times it ends up feeling good at the end of the day and thus I never go home frustrated or upset. Even if its little things that no one is going to nottice. It still feels good.

Thank you @everyone so far for your time that you have put into this post. With this bit of information you have all provided I think the cogs in my brain are starting to finally turn.

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Have you ever considered that college isn't the route for you? Most of your definition of success seems to revolve around college, try a different path?

Lifting did wonders for my mood. Also the Sun. Apparently vitamin D is a good mood regulator and you get it free by exposing yourself to the giant orb in the sky.

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Not getting a college degree isn't as big of a problem as some sources want you to think, and there's plenty of reason to believe now that you end up with a net lose in earned funds over your life from most college degrees. That said, you're already 4 years in so... you kind of might as well finish. The calculation for making more money with a high school or partial college degree is based partially on getting into the workforce earlier while not spending the huge amounts on tuition, along with the fact that skilled/trade jobs can pay pretty well (plumbing, mechanics, etc) if you do things right.

But onto the problem at hand I guess. First, while it's nice to remember the stuff you learn (I enjoy it, but I'm pretty academically inclined) the degree process is only minorly about gaining information. Instead it's about learning how to think and learn (if you go to a good school that still teaches properly), flexing the brain muscles to push them a bit further in multiple directions, and providing proof that you can get the kind of workload they give you done (valuable so an employer knows you can get whatever workload they give you done). This is why for many jobs what you majored in isn't as important as simply having a degree in anything. Even if you want to work in tech, where they often do prefer a CS or related background on job descriptions, there are a lot of ways in and up without that (case in point, myself, and a large number of people I know in tech, but also the former Senior Developer and then VP of Engineering at my company had his degree in International Affairs). So, if you are feeling burnt out and don't know where you are going with things, don't worry so much about it. Pick a subject, ANY subject, that you enjoy at all now, and finish your degree with that. Your options may end up being more limited and harder to get into certain fields in the future, but you'll still have opened the door for a lot, and if you were otherwise not going to get the degree at all, you aren't worse off by getting a degree in a field you like. Seriously, if you like to read fantasy and poetry, get that English Lit degree. Like the ancient china, get that history degree focused in ancient far east. Go for a fine arts degree if you are so inclined (though, be warned on that one, those are typically the hardest workloads and hardest courses, though depends on the school).

But, if we get even further down into this, your problem probably isn't entirely related to your job perspectives, school or not knowing a field to go for and whatever. Likely, there's some other dimension of your life that is missing, and maybe you're looking in the wrong place to fill a gap. More likely, if you do the tough work of reflection and searching elsewhere, you may find once other, more important parts of your life are in place, like once you figure out what your life is really about, not just what you want to do for work for your life, then the other pieces will fall in place or at least become clearer.

Remember, even if you pick a field you are good at and end up making billions, if you hate every second of it and the rest of your life feels meaningless, it's all for nothing.

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I have always felt that I was never really suited for college to be honest. High school was a breeze, I never really felt challenged so I really never tried. Always did my homework in class while the teacher taught.

Vitamin D is definitely something that can help lift your mood and yes getting out in the sun getting it naturally would be best.

There are techinal schools and on the job training/apprenticeships. Not saying you have to do that. Just saying there is more than one path.

Maybe take a little time to change your scenery take a drive/trip somewhere. Find that helps to get out of a rut.

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