How the hell do you get a linksys WRT54GL router to work with a D-Link DSL-520b?

So fun pissed off story time. So my internet went down, complete outage. So my D-Link DSL-2640b is like at least five years old, and before the internet went down, I had been having random slowdowns. I'm getting 6 Mb/s down, and during these slowdowns it would go around 6 down, and then just drop off completely to like 1. I'd have to restart the modem, several times sometimes, and just randomly it seemed it would fix it and be normal, until eventually it would do the slowdown again.

So the internet went down, and I thought the modem just completely died. As said, it's at least five years old. This led to me replacing the 2640b with a D-Link DSL-520b modem, and a Linksys WRT54GL router. I chose them because my D-Link 2640b has been tremendous, and the 520b got good reviews on newegg, and of course the WRT54GL is from a legendary family of routers and gets excellent reviews.

Upon getting the new equipment, the modem doesn't work, so I get ISP tech out who fixes some cabling, and reboots a network card (all outside, nothing wrong inside house), and gets DSL back up and running. I get the 520b working, and am immediately disappointed. I ran about ten speed tests with it, and had abysmal upload speeds. Hooked my 2640b back up, ran speed tests, and they're right where they should be. The 2640b uploads 3x faster than the 520b. Download speeds are comparable.

So seeing as how I paid 30 dollars shipping to get the shit here ASAP because I am a full time student and do all my classwork online and absolutely cannot be without internet, I figure fuck it, I'll just have to bite the bullet and live with the slower upload speeds. I then proceed to try to get the god damn Linksys router to work for three god damn hours, all to no avail. I've watched youtube vids, read ehow tutorials, followed this tutorial which makes it seem so fucking simple, to no avail.

So wtf gives? How the fuck do I get this piece of shit to work? I've tried DHCP on the router, no DHCP on the router, PPOE on the router, I've tried regular setup on the modem, bridged on the modem, different LAN ports on the router, I can't get this fucking shit to work.

Right now? Right now? You're god damn right I'm using my fucking five year old 2640b right now. This fucking close to eating thirty dollars and RMAing these new pieces of shit, if I can resist just outright smashing them.

three. fucking. hours.

Note, if only to self.

Modem needs to be set up with PPPOE, but disable NAT and firewall, and pass PPOE frames on WAN port. Static IP address

Router needs to be set up to PPPOE, gateway. Static IP address

Was trying to get by with my old D-Link DSL-2640b but it's finally dead. Won't hold connection. Went back to trying to get this shit set up and fiiiiiinally got the bitch.

Interestingly, after getting the router all set up, the upload speeds are up where they should be. They were three times slower with just the D-Link DSL-520b. Weird. I guess it's because the linksys is just so much better at routing and NAT?

Now I'm pondering whether or not to put Open DD-WRT firmware on it. Definitely not tonight or tomorrow, as I have a final exam tomorrow. Shit can fucking wait.

All of that being said, feels soooooo fucking good to set shit up correctly after struggling with it for hours. I felt this way after finally configuring a localhost site to work with SSL on a school project last week. Yessssssssssssssss!!!!!!