Choose your Cult- The Cult of Wandell or the Cult of Bryan

From the news this week… there was talk about starting a cult. I say “let’s join!!” Choose your side!!

The Cult of Wandell - Membership is free and open to all
Benefits and Activities include:

  • The blessing of the thermal paste
  • The holy benchmarking
  • Toilet seat giveaways for lucky chosen members
  • Saturday Star Trek quote recitals (in Klingon on the 2nd Saturday of the month)

The Cult of Brian - Members must make monthly contributions of 10% of their income (a tithe!)
Benefits and Activities include:

  • Friday meetings at Buc-ees for the blessing of the Banana Pudding
  • The daily fast whilst polishing guns
  • Semi-annual explanations of how daylight savings time works
  • Cat herding on the 3rd Sunday of each month

For those of you who don’t want to join a cult, kreestuh is hosting a social club… the anti-social social club!! Membership is open to all INTJ people on the MB scale.

Group meetings are on Thursday at 7pm. Attend privately from your own space.
Recurring agenda items are:

  • how to hide from black holes and avoid spaghettification
  • coping with existential dread… let’s be real, there is no way to cope.
  • house flipper strategies to sell all the houses… this is the one weird trick that realtors don’t want you to know.


edit: formatting and a few typos


While the Cult of Wandell sounds enticing, I think I am going to have to sit this one out in the Kreestuh collective. Gardening is just too rewarding.


I’d prefer to be part of the Editors Gathering: unseen, unheard but doing (un-)important tasks in the background.

There are no benefits, you Just Do It.

And I’d suggest renaming the kreestuh group into the unsocial club. Anti sounds so, well, aunty.


When the Feds show up to audit the 10% tithes.
“Ok so whos Bryan…?”



As a proletariat I vehemently disagree with these principles and these cults must be eroded at all costs in favor of the group good.

I propose the tech labor cult

  • Membership demands that you agree to kill the one to save the many in the trolley problem
  • Right to repair is fundamental law and if you disagree with it you are disagreeing with the many and failing the trolley problem. You will be reeducated
  • We commit ideological subversion by seeding division to the point where infighting has dissolved unity. We do so in legitimate overt manners that can be plainly seen
  • The greater good of the community is preserved through a cult wide education system and cult welfare system that people buy into from their income.
  • We advance these ideas in idealogically strong communities to soften them
  • Open source software is merely a way to perpetuate the one true ideology of community above self
  • Marijuana is our soma
  • The one true goal is one world, one vision, under technocratic vision with order and equality for all
  • All speech is free except that which contradicts the greater good of the community

Technocratic Marxism for all. Elon musk is the first commissariat of the council for mutual technological assistance


Welcome comdoges


I had a hard time avoid making an even more troll-y response than above. This thread is gold. I am curious what everyone is gonna say though

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Imperial commanded comedy is going on thats what!


Wow! Someone has been gulping down the kool-aid!

That’s is double plus good right-think!

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Lmao I was mocking the general idea of cults. Was a fun mental excercise to right though


Get you official Cult of Wandell robes here!


I can’t choose. My life currently involves thermal paste, benchmarking, Star Trek, cleaning my guns, and cats. Also, I typically steer clear of people IRL. What am I to do?

You could join the cult of engagement and send in gifts of nuts, orange soda, and/or bags of cash.

Of course, the cult of engagement demands a higher level of commitment, but comes with all the privilege and responsibility of the lesser cults.

I have to join the the Cult of Bryan (Brian?), because I fully support every good citizens right to keep and bear arms.

But I would use that right to defend the cult of Wendel too. (not sure who that wandell guy is, but as long as he isn’t against owning firearms, i’ll guard him too.)

Sadly, Star Trek is currently dead, Star Trek Discovery killed it. And then the new series ‘Picard’ put a lot of nails in it’s coffin. Maybe someday it will recover, but someone will likely have to set off the genesis device first. Wipe out everything from the newer seasons and bring back the original values of Gene Roddenberry. - So for now, Banana pudding and herding cats sounds like more fun than watching modern Star Trek … =/

Yeah, I think the cult of Bryan is more into the old school Star Trek, the way that Gene Roddenberry intended it to be. :slight_smile:

On floatplane/Patreon, the gang had a funeral for Picard the series… I think they called it a watch-a-long.