C++ Redist Detects Wrong Windows Version

I am trying to install the Visual C++ 2013 Redistributable x64, on my Windows 7 Ultimate x64 Service Pack 1 machine. The installer errors immediately with the message "0x81f40001 - Microsoft Visual C++ 2013 Redistributable (x64) - 12.0.21005 can only be installed on Windows XP SP1 (x64) and newer platforms."

I have no idea what is wrong here; all my searching has turned up is a lot of people using x86 versions of windows getting the same error. Clearly the error is wrong, my version of windows should be compatible... but I don't know what can be done about it.

Here is the log file given by the installer: http://pastebin.com/GBLpHjQ3