Wow the author’s experience of wanting to be a software engineer really resonated with me.
I recall making a remark about how I present myself acting and thinking as if I was a engineer/developer. When I have free time to make a project, I find excuses or distractions.
While in interacting with people in university, I there was the occasional question of why I didn’t major in a engineering field. I would frequently joke that my test scores weren’t good enough, or how I wouldn’t make it through the prerequsite math classes.
My romanticization of being a software developer met reality when I took a introductory computer science course offered to CS majors in my first year. Every week, I struggled to complete the MP, waiting in office hours to get help debugging my code.
When I worked with group mates on class projects and group work, I anchored the team, slowing the them down to explain reasoning behind submission (granted they had taken AP CS or programmed previously).
I struggled to understand basic concepts such as objects and recursion. I didn’t fully understand those two topics until after I finished my final exam. Instead of continuing my aspiration, I receded to my original major with doubts in my own academic ability to succed in other engineering courses.
Upon further reflection, I still have some regret that I didn’t continue the CS path. Since I later survived all pre-med courses (General Chemistry I + II, Molecular and Organismal Biology, Introductionary Organic Chemistry, Organic Chemistry 2, and Biochemistry) even though I ended up not applying to med school. If I had known that I would struggle just as much as that CS course in of all those pre-med courses, I would have continued CS.
I recoganize that without the pre-med courses, I would not have as strong of an understanding of the human body as I do today.
I regained some of my confidence in my academic ability after surviving Organic Chemistry II, considered one of the toughest courses at my university. Despite not performing as well in the class, it was the first time I commited myself to the end and avoid giving up when things got tough.