Windows 8 Udate

windows 8 takes forever to update how can I use it and skip the updating splash screen that starts every god damn time I turn on my PC??????/

I would say something is wrong on your computer.. I dont have this on my machine. Run the update manually next time you turn on your machine and have some time to kill. update the system with every available update in one go. Go do something else as this may take a bit with restarts... then see if that fixes the issue.