What is the best way to kill a computer?

At work I have to make power point presentations and find materials on the internet for classes, my ability to do this in an efficient manner is severely hampered by my budget computer from march 2006. (if you are interested I can post the specs)

 

I have already formatted it and removed everything that can safely be removed from the startup menu in MSconfig and it is not enough, I cannot have both an internet browser and microsoft powerpoint open at the same time without serious lag, crashes, problems etc, there is just not enough memory/processing power in this PoS to handle what I need to do, but......... as long as I have a working computer I can't get a new one...

 

So what is the best, non obvious, way to kill an ancient computer? preferably something that would cause serious instability, blue screens, and the like which will stay un-usuable through a format and reinstall. I'm thinking registry? but I don't really know where to start, any advice would be appreciated.

Run it under the sink when some one asks why you did it say "It was dirty so I washed it but now it doesn't work I think its a virus I heard there is this virus called a blue screen and when that happens you have to restart your email?" This shit happens all the time no one will question it.

take a paper clip, unbend it and stick it in a ram dimm. turn the pc on, might be a small spark, but you should start go just get MB beep codes. if that doesnt work, drip some salt water into the ram dimm or pci card slot.

My only thought would be to go and mess with the registry code. Run regedit and start deleting random things in the system, that should do it. Or you could run massive programs, shut off the fans and leave it in a hot room, and just let the cpu melt itself... Someone correct me if i am wrong though.

send it to me, I'll properly dispose of it

^this. Or buy This and make sure you have a fire extinguisher ready.

mobo will auto shutdown at the tjunction max threshhold temp.

Cook the cpu in the microwave for a few seconds. I did the same when working IT for a sales company when someone asked me the same question, same reason.

Older computers don't have the auto shut-down

Unlatch the cpu from the socket and wiggle it around. 

That is amazingly amazing

Probably wont work for you but the last time i got rid of a desktop i took it into  a friends property and we had fun shooting it with an ar15 and a shotgun he just bought :) definitely did not see that come back to life.

I was gonna say 'thermite' until I got to the 'non-obvious' part..

fuck up the cpus prongs where it goes ont othe motherboard 

unplug the CPU fan. Or just unplug the hard drive

Act like you knocked something behind your desk, while you are back there accidentally change the voltage on the psu.

 

if you want to easily disable a computer permanently but discreetly, you can download a BIOS file for a differnet chip and flash your BIOS. This will effectively disable it because the BIOS won't know what to do with the computer's hardware. In case you didn't know, BIOS(Basic input-output system) is what the logo, lines of code, ect. is before you get the windows logo. It tells the computer how to handle input and what in will output. If you can take the computer apart without being noticed(i.e. you can bring it home or you have your own office) you can take the CPU out and get the oil on your fingers all over it then put it back. This will effectively render the CPU useless. Visit http://www.malwaredomainlist.com/mdl.php. It's a site where you can find sites that are infected with viruses. Magnets are not friendly to your hard-drives if you want to try that :) . Update windows and "accidentally" unplug it part way through the process. It won't really render it useless, but if you show it to a non-techy person they probably will think that it is. If a tech team will investigate it, there is very few things that will work without it being obvious. One is to take dust wiped off of anything and clog the fans' axles. This will appear to be a normal problem that could happen to anyone and if you run a resourse intensive program(or from the sound of it, any program) for a while, the processer will melt or severely fail, either way the computer is done and the  blame is not yours.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vhYOoGyFhM

Go into the BIOS, overvolt the CPU to the highest possible setting, then wait for death.

Create a .BAT file that will boot-up 999999999 programs at once, then remove your cpu cooler and enjoy the fireworks!