Been thinking about this a lot recently. I was raised in a no video games/PBS-only sort of household, and I think I benefited from this style of parenting in several ways. That kind of control over what your kid is exposed to can no longer be enforced in any practical, non-draconian manner, so I want to equip my children to be able to handle shit like toy channels, lets-players and the like in a healthy way.
Also, when I say PBS-only, i don't mean I was sheltered. My parents would regularly expose me to media with adult themes, and help me understand the difference in entertainment and reality from a very early age. They just weren't big on TV, Comics, Vidya, etc, and they'd spend that entertainment budget on vacations, and on encouraging hobbies and transferable in my siblings and I.
We were also one of the first households with internet access in my area, and having that early exposure to computers and functional technologies informed many of my competencies and passions today. This is something I also want to pass on to my children.
Like I said, I've been thinking a lot about the best ways to accomplish these goals in my parenting. and I've come up with some kind of framework for doing so:
I already run a *nix only household on the metal, with windows restricted to VMs only. I'm not going to insist that my children adhere to this, because it limits their options in early education and a basic competency with windows goes a long way. However, I want to spend the time to show them how these things actually work, and teach them how to operate in a unix like environment
I will be getting them nemo based smart-phones when the time comes, so that the knowledge of unix systems directly transfers, they are less exposed to advertising and app store jank, and there's no way they can charge my credit card or accounts for microtransactions
I'll be teaching them how to do proper research, giving them an overview of the underlying problems and caveats that come with social media, and information accuracy, and how to use these services in a responsible way.
outside of these basic, macro level things, I'm completely lost as to what I can do to prepare them. I'd love to hear experiences and advice from other parents or people that grew up in a more modern environment than I did.
I too believe that exposing your children to technology is really important. Especially educating them on clickbait, manipulating content and such seems to be getting more important than ever.
As a way to get the "fiddeling" with technology and especially linux and similar going I would personally buy a Raspberry Pi for kids to experiment with. There is good community support out there so they can learn to find solutions on their own and it is a really cheap device and offers so much for its money. Just get them a bunch of micro SD cards and they can have virtually anything going.
One piece of advice. What they say on social media even at a young age could seriously hinder the start of their adult lives, job prospects, relationships, social & societal standing and cause great stress later on in life. Gone are the days where you could shit talk on large social media sites without concern. I haven't worked in a place now that doesn't scour social media for candidates online profiles.. squeaky clean is what you have to be.
I have stories. Sound Orwellian ? well, it's a reality now.
The only experience I can speak from in a parental context is keeping mindful of how you utilize technology around them. Always on the phone, taking pictures of everything, etc.
Something I ponder at times is how younger generations can surpass our achievements by being dissatisfied with our current expectations of our tech. I set up a room full of RGB LEDs at our house, and I let my son pick a color to change the room to. It's great fun, but I imagine his wonder will wear off in time, and think on how I might help redirect that boredom into a desire for innovation and improvement. What could our children do when new tech becomes old tech, and when they aren't satisfied being dazzled by (apropos) RGB lighting? Perhaps that depends on the individual many times more than a larger social outlook.
As far as constraints, we limit TV/whatever media time, and plan to limit overall consumption, but to encourage creation. Broad and blindly optimistic, but my kids are still young. My idea of giving children phones is to get them only when they're necessary, and not before. I'd like to hold out as long as I can on that. That, and to keep them reasonably and realistically aware of how to protect their identity and communications.
I also try to tell them what things are when they ask, even if it the answer is mostly technical. One practice I consider important is not making things sound too difficult or complicated to grasp, even if I know it will be. I don't want them intimidated or giving up on understanding anything. Maybe that's how that whole kids surpassing us thing should have been worded.
I was raised much differently. I was basically raised by video games because my parents worked so much. I have no quarrel with them doing this because they had to but that may be why I'm taking the approach I am at parenting.
I intend to not let my children (one currently 2.5 years and the other in the womb) really engage with electronics till around 6 or so from there I plan to teach them how to use it as an educational tool and not so much for entertainment. I still play video games as much as possible, which isn't much, so I'd have to not come off as a hypocrite somehow.
Other than that I intend to raise them that they're not special snowflakes and the world doesn't give a damned about them. That they have to earn everything they work for and never expect to be handed anything.
I actually agree with you on core philosophies, but I think a more nuanced approach might be necessary in order to prepare them for the outside world. I think education and harm prevention should be prioritized over prohibition, because kids always have shithead friends, and those shithead friends will be their primary source if you aren't.
I agrre, but you're getting into higher age brackets. I can't plan that far ahead; too many variables in the way. I barely have vision for 6 year old much less 8 to 10.
You gotta start em early for this to work; you have to beat the shithead friends to the informing stage for you to maintain your role as a positive authority. just food for thought.
Spent 3 years as a correctional officer. If there's one thing I know it's beating authority into the skulls of someone. If I can instill the fear of God into my kid I'll happy.
hmm I guess that could work, but my preferred style of parenting would be an adviser and mentor. Give them the correct tools, but not regulate them on what they can and cannot do, within reason. Such things like illegal drugs would be forbidden. If my kids wanted to use windows, then so be it. I will explain to them the benefits of both. Windows being compatibility and widespread use in an office setting/school setting, and linux being freedom, adaptability, and modularity. Honestly their computing preferences aren't as important to me, as the public school indoctrination and the imposed truncated frame of reference that bashes kids with the idea that a certain ideology is wrong inherently.
I guess, I would start treating them like an adult when they reach the age to reason and use critical thinking skills.
I don't think sheltering your kids from the outside world does any good. It literally only takes longer for the woes of life to hit them, and when it does, the coping experience is harder. Certainly, the world should be care free, and the kids shouldn't have to worry about financial struggles, but they do need to be aware of the psychological neurosis and vanity oriented society, predicated upon the market system, and all of the corruption and subtle influences / exploitation for profit seeking individuals/establishments/institutions/corporations to push an agenda.
I don't think sheltering them is a good idea either, but I'd rather be involved in their exposure to adult parts of life rather than letting random kids/public school inform their worldview. overall methodology is kinda beyond the scope of what I'm discussing here, I just want to know how people are dealing with this in the digital age. I might have a kid on the way, and I'm terrified by the prospect of the Internet's influence on their developing critical and moral faculties.
A good thing to do is to teach them how to use a search engine, and to avoid confirmation bias on the internet. Additionally, to look at both perspectives, and use different search engines, when conducting your research.
Also, a big thing that I would do, would be teach them basic / expert argumentation techniques, and all of the logical fallacies, like the 'no true scottsmen,' or 'ad-hominems' / 'strawman'. http://www.yourlogicalfallacyis.com/
Although, they may become frustrated with some things you teach them, like the appeal to authority, wherein that is mostly what public school is.
Although it would be immensely helpful for every day communication, language, and discerning bullshit from truth.
I host searx and yacy nodes to sidestep algorithms that aren't content neutral.
I've noticed recently that these terms have become essentially meaningless, as many dim bulbs have learned the terms, and think they serve as catch all trump cards when people disagree with them. I will be teaching them to recognize bullshit and properly shoot the shit though.
They are still true and relevant for argumentation. I do agree, a lot of people use them wrong, or incessantly to prove a point, or bolster their arguments, but it really is important to know some of them. They help you find out if the person you are providing an argument for, doesn't have any backing, and is grasping at straws.
For example, as a kid, name calling is a legitimate form of argumentation. For a lot of adults it is also...
That is pretty sad.
Or the appeal to authority, just because an authoritarian declares something, doesn't make it valid or true. ("i'm sure you will have some fun with this one.")
There's so many of these fallacies that people refuse to adhere to during argumentation. It just lowers your standards when you reduce your logic like that. For people that know them... it's frustrating.
I was a teacher of teenagers and my wife was a teacher of really little ones. Whilst I support not sheltering kids too much don't be too keen to show them too much too early. Yes they will see and hear things they shouldn't at school but if you have a good relationship where they feel safe to ask you any questions then you can guide them through it. What's most important is that relationship. My kids are young their exposure to technology is limited I prefer android for the ability to have locked down users on devices so I control what apps they use, YouTube kids is a good example where they have limited exposure to things but in a safer environment. Add they get older we will see. But that is a problem for another day.
I was raised (2nd oldest of 5) in a house where I was only allowed 1 hour of TV a week (half of which had to be news) and only 1 hour of computer time on the week ends.
Even after I got a job and bought myself a playstation 1 I was still only allowed 1 hour, and it had to be PS - or - computer games. No Exceptions. Not ever.
Raised in that extreme - now that i am an adult, I am hopelessly addicted to games, because now no one can tell me what to do.
Luckily for me I LOVE my job (motorcycle mechanic) and I work really long hours in spring/summer because everyone wants their bike then, and not in winter (if you are like that - for the record - you are a GIANT wimp :] ) I also used to race bikes and am building a race bike now for next year. So while I have a LOT of stuff going on, I would probably park myself in front of a computer and not move if I could get away with it.
You seem (OP) to have a well grounded and non-draconian plan in motion - so you are on the right track.
The only other thing I would suggest is be prepared and willing to explain (how in depth will depend on age) to explain WHY you have the rules that you do. I hated the phrase "Because I said so" as a kid because I always thought that it either meant parents were assholes because they could be - or they thought I was to stupid to understand why.
I have two kids under three, and I can tell you my two year old can bypass my phone pin if he gets the chance.
By the time they are old enough to get a job, most employment will be automated, and IT will be a career path that will be more important than ever. I want my kids using technology.
You should never go to war with your kids. No one wins and the kids get what they where after, The goal is stearing and openess. If they going to ask questions why cant you be in there circle or trust not outside it. Kids ask all the same shitty questions you did, Be in the solution not the police.