Yesterday I reinstalled windows because about two minutes after windows started it would hang indefinitely. I couldn't be bothered working too hard on finding the solution and it was getting to be about time for a fresh install.
Now it's today and I remembered that I had speedfan installed with custom fan profiles so that they would correctly ramp up and down with GPU temperature. I installed it and I've discovered that it was the cause of the hanging. Some time in the hardware detection process it would get mad and hang.
What I need now is an alternative program that will allow custom fan profiles based on various system temperatures.
Solutions to the speedfan issue are welcome if you've had similar issues. All my drivers are up to date and no part of the system changed between when it was working and when it wasn't.
Motherboard is the ASUS P8Z77-V PRO.
And ASUS "fan Xpert" (I think that was the name) isn't good enough because it only goes off CPU temperature.
Tl;dr: Fan control software that isn't fan Xpert or Speedfan.