Remote desktop solution for MacOS?

Anybody got any thoughts on a preferably free and open source solution to access a MacOS machine. I have a proxmox server so happy to self host a solution. Plan is to vpn into the local network and then access from there so no extra open ports on the home network. I tried the native VNC in MacOS and it is so slow as to be unusable even before I start using the vpn.
This setup is for a less than tech savvy person so easy of use and a MacOS client are ideal.

So far I have looked into the following:
NoMachine - closed source but looks to check all the other boxes
Rustdesk - requires one to run a server if you do not wish to use the public ones (which is fine)
X2go - seems from the documentation to be designed to access linux boxes only so unknown if it could be made to work

What others have people used / why is their not an straightforward RDP client for MacOS / or do I just google poorly?

I’m a fan of Apache Guacamole for RDP, VNC and SSH access remotely. I would use it and then enable remote desktop on your Mac. In Guacamole, configure yourself a VNC session.

I have tested VNC on my local network with the Mac and is was unusable, so very slow. So I am looking for another solution.

There are definitely issues with the native VNC, but it should be perfectly usable on a LAN, even with a ~4K display. Are you connecting with a Mac or using a 3rd party client?

I was using Remmina from a linux laptop to test VNC as the eventual Mac laptop client was out of town. I will see if it is better Mac to Mac, though eventually I would like to access the target Mac desktop with my linux laptop as well.

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I do remember having a variety of issues with 3rd party VNC clients connecting to a Mac. I believe the Mac implementation is out of spec in several ways.

I personally use parsec on my Mac Pro at work and Mac Mini M1 at home it has a new macOS host feature and it’s pretty Damn smooth!

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So glad a came across this. The mac version is a little too slow to game on (not that there are many worthy games on mac to start with) but the windows (host) version is good enough to game with, if you don’t mind some compression in the video.
I wonder if @wendell has seen this before =P