sooo i know this girl from a game we both played and she disappeared for a while. showed up again recently and apparently she died for a little bit and got brain damage and lost a lot of her speech and memories. shes relearning how to talk and asking a lot of questions in broken English about her past. everyone and i mean EVERYONE thinks shes a troll but i gave her the benefit of the doubt and since got confirmation shes legit not a troll and who she says she is my old gaming pal.
now here is where it gets weird. because im the only person in this gaming community who believes her and talks to her and translates what other people say for her she has grown attached to me i guess? and now is asking to meet irl and for pictures and sending nudes.
very confused what do?
and you may be thinking why post this here? well this is one of the few community’s im in i wont get trolled to hell and back for asking this, and i dont think anyone from my gaming community or real life comes here. privacy through obscurity.
If I were to be brutally honest, cut the line and run. I’m sure you mean well, but that is going to be a really tough situation to get out of the longer you wait. I’ve been in situations where I kind of took pity on someone and it ended up being to much hassle and to time consuming to actually stick with said person.
Con con con no normal person should want to do that. Don’t care if that’s what youngsters do nowadays it’s leaving you or even both open to exploitation, (emotional) blackmail etc.
Be careful man, even if she is really that person, not a catfish who got hold of her old real life files, your well meaning nature puts you at a lot of risk. DO NOT send anything compromising about yourself EVER, and never do ANYTHING somebody could be getting money\value out of you… I’d be hesitant to send anything identifying or do anything more than your normal online hang out and game ect. Meeting in person is probably safer than some other things, but be mentally prepared for it to be a scam, or to be the butt of a cruel joke… and possibly worse, be prepared to say no to things if it really is not. Its neither healthy for you OR for them to become a sole rock\view of the future, be a friend, be a cool guy, but don’t be a hero, a martyr or a donor… I’ve seen that end worse for all involved than merely walking away.
To be clear, I know at least 3 people who met their now married other halves gaming or at gaming events. I also know one adult male who was literally drugged and robbed by a girl from a similar situation (although not gaming, but it does happen in this circle sadly)… and a couple of others who admit to being catfished (normally for nothing more than the joke and in game role play. Many never even gave money or real world value ect), both male and female.
Even assuming the backstory is true (legitimate injury, sincere advances), yeah; you need to set up the boundaries now. do not meet up. shut down the nudes. if things level off, ok… but otherwise, you don’t want to get yourself into it.
this girl is not who she normally is. it will end badly to take advantage of that.
years ago, a good friend of mine (who happened to be happily married, a bit older than me, and have three kids) was hit head-on by a drunk driver. She was in a coma for a time, and her personality was completely different once she woke up. visiting in the hospital, you could see her going back through the process of developing mentally and emotionally. there was a period where she would constantly be pulling off clothes/bedsheets, and even asking if i’d like to “go up to her room” …and that’s when i had to stop visiting.
now, this story is not about “she changed” or “it was weird because our relationship wasn’t like that.”
The most important part of that tale… she would grow up to a sensible adult again given time… and potentially a nice person if everybody looked out for her\didn’t take advantage.
I’m less against meeting in person, but 1000% agree about being clear on boundaries and not moving them.
I’m all for being kind and helping out and supporting someone with a mental disorder/illness, but don’t let that turn into naivete that lets people take advantage of you. People who neglect themselves in helping others end up getting themselves in serious trouble. Be kind, and be sincere in your kindness, of course, but be pragmatic and be steadfast in your values. I cannot stress how important this is: Keep strict and conservative boundaries on what you will do for that person. Do not do anything that compromises yourself. It’s not worth it. Remember first that you’re dealing with someone who is mentally ill. Nudes? No. Stay away from that, it will only lead to trouble. If you can hammer into her head that that’s not okay, then maybe, but that’s a serious red flag right there already.
I’m not qualified in any way to talk about mental disabilities, but speaking from experience, with the mentally ill and disabled I’ve interacted with, most of them are considerably more intelligent than anyone gives them credit for. A mental disorder in the right mindset can be an immunity card to get away with quite a bit, whether the intentions behind them are truly malicious or not.
I’m definitely not saying turn a blind eye to the girl or don’t offer your support, but keep your faculties about you, man. Never toy with throwing caution to the wind. Take care of yourself, and don’t be afraid to cut the cord altogether if things turn south.
Well nude sounds like she is desperate. Either to scam or to hold onto a familiar face. People don’t normally send that to strangers. If you do choose to meet make sure it is in a very public place. Coffee houses are not a bad idea.
You could block her now or choose to meet. If you do meet may not be a good idea to give her a face name if you just want to hit and quit. But it really is your decision and hope you are a good judge of people.
Either way you got free nudes. Take my advice with a grain of salt because I find crazy fun.
I’m sorry to hear thats not been the case… well at least we can hope there is still a chance given time… I’ve seen it take longer than a decade before though, so I guess its entirely possible some people never do. Also worth noting, when I say grow up to a sensible adult, I don’t mean the same sensible adult… thats actually very rare, even non-brain related injuries that result in coma’s outside of those induced by anesthetists more often than not represent marked shifts in personality, no idea why though.
My initial response could have been worded better like this. I was warning about the con possibility not specifically saying she was “mental” or could simply have demishined responsibility due to the medical related issues. Just be wary.
This this, so much this. If she has brain damage, then even if she is an adult, there are laws governing vulnerable adults. Helping her is fine, but I will echo what some have already said. Shut down the nudes. These are bad if she’s a vulnerable adult, these are exceptionally bad if she’s a minor. Let her know in no uncertain terms that she needs to stop that, and delete anything you may have kept (and by kept I mean stuff that might just be in your text history or however she’s getting them to you).
yea not meeting in person or nudes were never on the table. just trying to figure out how to approach this situation and wether i should cut and run or keep trying to help her. i think shes all there or mostly all there but has some amnesia and forgot a lot of words. it’s like talking to someone who speaks english but not well. simple conversations are easy but the more complex words or long sentaces she will have trouble with, and reading more so then talking aloud.
i think she isnt a troll or catfish and im going to keep in contact and try to get people to stop treating her like a troll, but put up some boundaries. just not sure how to go about that conversation and i’ve never had to tell a girl to back off like this before.
Baz: I barely escaped with my life last night, this girl I used to sleep with came after me with a machete!
Gill: What did we tell you?
Baz: …Don’t stick your dick in crazy.
Gill: Don’t stick your dick in crazy.
Countless people have been trolled this way by women online. They record a naughty chat or take your nudes and blackmail you. Even if she isn’t lying, you should never put nude pictures on the Internet.
Easy - be direct tell her you are a friend but just a friend. You can chat with her, talk with her and game with her but the nudes have to go.
Honestly everything is possible but by my experience I had way more crazy than actual victum of accident. She may have recently broke up with her boyfriend after a few months of fun (the time she was missing) and now she may be desparate.
Most people in recent times cant live alone even for a month which I don’t understand.
i can help you with this one. some people think money will bring them happiness. others think “the one” will bring them happiness and the older they get the less pretty they get and the harder it will be to find and marry “the one” and it’s a circle of stress and unhappiness. they meet someone and they want it to be “the one” even when its clearly not but they try and try anyways in the hopes they can change or whatever. sunk cost fallacy and when they finally break up they are sad even though it’s better this way and they look back at all the time and effort and how they are older and get even MORE stressed to find “the one” so they must immediately find “the one”.
dont know this from personal experience but from friends and family. i blaim hallmark movies.
