You need to hear this one. So recently down the road one of the cell phone companies put up a cell phone tower. I haven’t ever seen the light on at night. Tonight? Holy fuck it looks like a real threatening thunder storm if you didn’t otherwise know, but me being who I am, I have actually played with microwave dishes. I was going to get pizza at the time, but I was in awe of the light.
As I come up the hill I was thinking “Ah, tonight cannot go wrong. I have some new games to play, weed, pizza…” and looking at the FLASH FLASH in the sky, “And that GOD DAMN LIGHT.”
So I wanted to see if it flashed the ground. So coming up the hill, OH MY GOD YOU CAN DIRECTLY SEE IT. Its so damn bright and there is NO GROUND SHADE so its just BLAM BLAM BLAM. Coming up the hill, I HAD to put down my shades it was SO bright. And before I was directly under it, I started to feel funny.
Now, I’ve played fallout right. We all have, or have seen it. Radiation sickness is a thing. So I’m directly under it now and I just feel REALLY FUCKING WEIRD OK. Now I’m panicking. Now I’m thinking I’m about to die. The light is BLASTING AGAINST THE GROUND LIKE ITS DAYLIGHT, I’m like “Oh fuck. OH FUCK. Is this radiation sickness? Am I gunna die? How the hell do people live here?” Finally I turn the corner, start down the road, and I’m just rolling through all the facts about directional broadcast and spread air broadcast frequencies, and then it hits me.
ITS THE FUCKING HEATED SEAT.
I’M SO DONE BRO
You wanna talk real life horror, I KNOW I AM NOT GUNNA DIE BUT FUCK CAN I NOT ACTUALLY BELIEVE IT.