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No more fappaccinos! StarBucks blocks pr0n, or so they say


Can’t wait to see what this solution is… hopefully they aren’t just jerking us around and don’t end up blocking perfectly acceptable sites. Will it stick or will there be an explosion of outrage when the solution fails?


Hmm… I want to laugh, but…

(peers at tinfoil hat)

Nah, I’d do the same if I were Starbucks. I wonder what prompted this. I’m minimally concerned about a whitelist situation here since they aren’t an ISP. You can only get wifi at their locations. If people’s favorite non-porn sites end up disallowed, then they won’t spend 3hrs working there; so be it.


I think when it comes down to it, people will reach around for a solution.


There sure will be a latte people trying.


Some weird guy on pornhub in the middle of the small waiting area would invoke negative PR I imagine.


Here in NYC they have Link.NYC, which are a bunch of kiosks put up all over the city that broadcast free really fast wifi. They also have little USB ports to charge your phone and, crucially, android tablets.

These tablets can call 411, or look up directions, or even make free phonecalls anywhere in the US. They had a web browser too. This was all widely heralded as a great thing, and our legions of crazy homeless people loved it.

Yeah, you see where this is going. I saw more men masturbating in the 6 weeks or so before they disabled that web browser than, well, ever. If you don’t count myself, anyway. In less than a week those kiosks looked like glazed donuts.


To be fair, it’s probably been awhile since they’ve had access to porn. Gotta get it while the get’n 's good.


Oh fuck I can’t stop laughing. Damn my immature man child.


Fucking lost it. I now have to explain to the GF why I am laughing so hard.


It’s raining men?


It makes me wonder what strategy they’ll use to accomplish this. I’m sure they’ll have some method better than blocking access to everything but facebook and twitter(there’s porn on twitter). I know some firewalls maintain lists of site classifications, so you can block all content for said sites of a specific category; I imagine this is the route they will take.

It really makes me wonder if some specific event prompted this response, funny if that’s the case.

That sounds like a pretty extreme biohazard.


It’s not exactly a unique challenge. Network-wide porn blockers have been around for decades now.

It was pretty, pretty, gross. I’ve seen some stuff, in my years. But nothing like all those homeless men furiously masturbating right on the sidewalk shameless before all passers by.


It’s not really possible to block 100% of lewd content. Sure they can block the popular sites, but there’s plenty of other sites that feature pornography outside of the primary focus of the site. Twitter and Tumblr are easy examples of this. So that isn’t really going to stop someone enjoying some adult themed tumblr blog at a starbucks, not without blocking tumblr outright.


You’re never going to stop a savvy determined masturbator. They’re going to bust that nut whether you like it or not. But blocking youporn and the other usual suspects will shut the vast majority of five knuckle shufflers down cold.


normies dont get to lube the tube at starbucks, but us depraved souls can fondle the flagpole as much as we want :^)


I have one thing to say to this…


That is all.


Could be even better- some executive watched a porn that was filmed inside a Starbucks, and feels obligated to act.


Only in SF my dude.


Starbucks Pornos

  • Raiders of the Lost Star’s Box
  • Begging for Cream: The Barista’s Tale (Cinemax, obviously)
  • Black Gold & Twelve Blondes: A Gangbang in Three Acts
  • A Midsummer Night’s Cream
  • Fappucino (credit thread title)
  • Triple Whipped Soy Latte Girls With Low Self-Esteem
  • Beverly Hills Starbox
  • Sir Jizzalot meets Crocodile Blondee Spit-Roast
  • Four Baristas Take Mandingo
  • What Would You Do for $7.25/hour?


i dont visit starbucks or any other “coffee shops” I cant stand the smell of expresso or cappucino!
when it comes to coffee i have a mug that says " put anything in me other than coffee i will get extremely unpleasant"

but as to the topic at hand they are a public place where people often take their children and its within their rights to filter net access!