You should really read Facebook's explanation of their Terms of Service.
https://www.facebook.com/about/privacy and /about/privacy/your-info
Most of what you said about facebook is simply false. Facebook allows for data ex filtration, account deletion, a user can informally verify their data has been deleted by attempting to sign up again with the same email, people can edit their profiles and maintain fine-grained privacy settings. The point of end-to-end encryption is to prevent third parties from having access but facebook is about exactly that. An example would be viewing a post made by a friend to another friend and hence end-to-end encryption makes no sense on the platform beyond connectivity to it.
When considering how data is used in conjunction with third parties, I think the core issue is that you're confusing personal data with personally identifiable information. We generally think of user data, as our laws reflect, in terms of personally identifiable information but advertising on the internet is a different beast entirely. Considering that US law doesn't properly take into account the existence of the internet, it's a bit much to presuppose that existing contract law sufficiently covers the gray area of personalized advertising.
"We only provide data to our advertising partners or customers after we have removed your name and any other personally identifying information from it, or have combined it with other people's data in a way that it no longer personally identifies you."
The sharing of large quantities of non-personalized data between marketing providers is a new phenomenon and it's not clear how existing laws should apply and what would be in the public's best interest. Certainly your strict view is one end of the spectrum and another is that users should have no expectation of being able to control that data since it is no longer personally identifiable. When personally identifiable information is shared, it's done so with the user's permission which can be modified under account settings. How that data is used, including examples, are found in their terms of service, with the explanation linked above.
I find it very odd that you seem to view US laws very strictly but what you actually describe is the European system of how sharing information works. In the US, once a party has disclosed information publicly, and information on Facebook is considered public, a user no longer has any reasonable expectation of privacy to that information. Or, if you want to view it in terms of contract law, then then the data can be considered a business record and US law holds that expired business records (anything older than 90 days) are not subject to the protection of law. In addition, if facebook had to demonstrate user data deletion between itself and third parties, this could promote the creation of centralized databases for its users between them and third parties and allow greater potential for abuse both in capability and degree. Game theory man. Decentralization is what's pragmatic to prevent large scale abuse and I'm not comfortable giving multiple large companies incentives to centralize.
Instead of thinking of what is happening in terms of existing law, we should try to think about what exactly we are trying to prevent, stop or promote and act accordingly.
Large databases filled with personally identifiable information in the hands of those with tangible power, who have a history of abusing that power is what I don't want. That is exactly what the NSA has now. This makes the NSA, with it's history of squashing dissenters like William Binney, Thomas Drake and Snowden, a substantial threat to individuals, businesses, the international interests of both the US and other entities. In practice, a database with that much sensitive information will always be abused by those in power. Lively informed debate is a critical aspect of every democracy and that includes the right to be critical of or denounce actions taken by the government. The NSA has stepped beyond the law by holding itself above the constitution. Apparently, you don't think "Let me tell you how the 4th Amendment works: it's a fucking constitutional right!" applies to the NSA and they certainly agree with you.
The director of the NSA has lied to the american people by lying to both the house and senate, and at that moment, the NSA stopped representing me or my interests as an american citizen. Abuses by facebook can be either managed or solved completely by opting out (or not "opting in") various aspects of the service including the use of the service itself. There is no "opt-out" of prism, just big-brother telling us to "trust" him, while in the panopticon of cyberspace. I don't want to live in that prison and neither should anyone else.