Losing Friends

Community Blog
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Now and again someones pet dies or family member, but its very odd to see someone die that is around your age unless you’re over 70 (IMO). This week has been hard for me and I don’t know how to make it all stop in my head other than talking about it with people.

Yesterday I learned that a friend of mine who worked as a firefighter had died. Not sure how, still no news on it, and the only thing I could find was that there was a big car crash on the highway but nowhere near where she even lived. This was someone that was in almost all of my classes from 7th grade till graduation so it was really really weird for that to be done forever. Especially as I had just run into her at a store a while ago but I didn’t have time to stop and chat. The idea that I’ll never talk to her again is both hard to grip but at the same time I don’t know how much we would have talked from now on. Maybe just the memory seated with the fact is unsettling?

Then this morning I learned of a friend who committed suicide. I hadn’t talked to him since last august, but apparently someone decided to start some shit with him and eventually pulled the pedo card, and from there the internet escalated it into the sky to the point where police showed up, asked some nonchalant questions, and wrote the most vague report possible. From there, he got months and months of hate and attack until he killed himself before going into an actual trial to decide if he would go to jail or not. He never got to plead guilty or not guilty, and probably felt that he was doomed either way. I don’t know the rest of it, as I only found out the pedo shit this morning. Apparently other rumors were started, like he was a serial rapist, that he was a mall shooter that was never caught, that he was a thief, and all of it is blatant lies. Probably one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Wished I had talked to him more now…

I don’t understand why people must be so evil to each other. Whether its that they are a rapist, or some tard on the internet that doesn’t think about the product of their actions. No one deserves treatment of brutality, and no one deserves death for anything. Even if they killed someone. I wish people would chill out more. Drive slower on icy roads, listen to more lo-fi, just mellow out… Sadly though, someone could have an off day, take it out on someone they don’t know, and next thing they know the swatting they did got a guy shot atd they don’t know how to handle the situation.

I guess thats why I’m in the furry fandom is so I have a place to belong, a group of outcasts, in a way, that sometimes have each others back. Though for my friend, the fandom was happier to attack him than seek help for him. And whether he listened to them or ignored them, he was going to be in deep shit whether his conviction was legit or not.

We should make an example of things like that to be honest. Have people who mass bully someone to death be put in jail for 2 months or so. Or longer. 2 years? Is it technically murder? I’d say so.

What we should also do is have a better support system for people that have wrong mental wiring. Whether its autism, pedophilia, bipolar disorder, gender disorientation, or what have you. There should be better structures in place other than “no fuck you go die”. I half want to go into law and medicine just to help advance that shit.

At this point I’m rambling. I’m done.

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I am sorry for your loss. As for commenting on mental health, jail, and so on I will refrain from doing so as the last time I used these forums my views on emotionally charged or politically charged things at times ended up with me seeing my posts being taken down because certain things I said did not fit with the majority here. I do hope that things have changed and in the future I will feel like I can share more. Again I am sorry for your loss.

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If you work, I’d suggest you request some time off to collect yourself, maybe a week or so. Take some time for yourself, talk to someone close to you. Do something that you like if you are looking to take your mind off the subject. That is all I can offer in ways of advice.

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I don’t work yet. Been going at that pretty hard and I think I’m just going to work at a local chain grocery store. Either way, I look forward to it.

As for getting my mind off of it, I have to meditate on it. Today was hard, prolly tomorrow will be as well.

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If working will help you cope, I’d suggest the opposite of my earlier advice. You can get through this, but it will take time.

Do you think herbal teas would help?

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If I had cannabis it would have been used by now.

And to add, it was yesterday morning that he killed himself. So at least I have a solid timeline now and its not just vague.

I’ll just have dinner, a beer, play TF2, and fall asleep at my desk again.

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Huh weird, lost two friends fairly recently myself.

Overdose and suicide.

It’s rough, I’m nearly 22 and the amount of friends I’ve lost in the last 5-6 years is astounding… it seems that every few months someone dies, accident, drug abuse, suicide, or in one case, murder.
One of my closest friends won’t talk to me or anyone else, and was found to be heavily using again, he’s already been in the hospital a few times due to health problems (brought on by drug abuse), so who knows, maybe he’ll be dead too sooner than later. not sure what i’m going to do about that

So yeah, i hear you loud and clear, it’s weird, uncomfortable, and makes you wonder what could have been, and maybe I’m talking out my ass here, but i feel like i could have done more in these people’s lives. You never know what you have until it’s gone, it never gets easier (losing friends that is), but if you have purpose, and can stand your ground when it gets tough, no matter what happens, there’s always hope.

People are inherently wretched creatures, and many will hurt others to numb their own pain, make themselves feel better by cutting others down.
When one is accused of a crime, whether or not they committed the act or not, these people will not only feel good when putting the accused on blast, but they will feel justified… “So what if the person offs themselves, they had it coming!” In the end their conscience won’t be too affected by it.

In my experience the best thing to do in times like this, when you’re just feeling the weight of it all, is to reach out to friend/family and see if they need anything. After i heard about the deaths a short while ago, I went over and helped a friend of mine with a project she was struggling to complete because she was so depressed she wouldn’t leave her bed, life was hitting her pretty hard too. Not only does it make another person feel valued and cared for, but you’ll feel much better knowing you made another person’s life better, even if it was small and seemingly insignificant, it means a whole lot more than you think. Not only that, but it strengthens relationships and builds tighter bonds.

That’s just my two cents on the matter.

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Take your time to mourn, reminisce, look at some pictures, sit and cry in the shower if you have to. Go visit their graves or memorials and when it’s time you gotta move on. If you find moving on hard, a change of scenery and manual labour is the best way to do it.

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All I can say is I sympathise. I have been through this too and started to mentally write a post but I do not want to do that now, is is just rambling and a lot of doubt and lack of faith in other people, so I will refrain.

It sucks, badly, just take time. Have positive thoughts. See someone or talk to a sympathetic ear and enjoy what you have.

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