I used to be a car guy, but I just don’t care for any modern vehicles, and I don’t have the time (or budget) to fix up any classics.
1997 Mercury Sable LS.
This was my college beater. Green and oval. Not only was the exterior green, but mine had a green interior as well. 
It did the job, but was not particularly inspiring. The 200hp DOHC V6 had some decent get up and go, but the slushbox was awful. It got me through college, at which point I bought my first “real” car.
(Not my car or my picture)
2001 Saab 9-5 Aero (with 5 Spd Manual)
My first “real” car.
It was 3 years old, with about 30k miles on it. I got a good deal on it because it sat on the lot a while, because no one was buying manuals. I loved this thing. I did some mild tuning (rebuilt uprated Mitsubishi TD04 turbo, downpipes, catback, + BSR software, and it could move. I got in trouble a lot.
…at some point it was totaled when I was t-boned in an intersection by a Honda Pilot that didn’t stop. The Saab did so well in that collision, that I decided to get another one.
2004 Saab 9-5 Aero (with 5 spd manual)
The replacement.
Prettier exterior, but GM ownership was starting to take a toll on the interior, so it was a mixed bag.
I got a surprise the first time I gunned it. It lit up the front end like crazy. Turns out the previous owner had modified it a bit as well. Not as much as my first one, but there was at least a Nordic software tune in it.
During this time period I was following the tragic slow death of Saab. For a while I had hoped that the GM Sale to Spyker would save the brand, but in the end they ran out of cash before hitting breakeven, and shut down.
I did my part though. I bought one of their newly designed cars during this period.
2011 Saab 9-5 Turbo 4 Premium (with Tech Package and 6 Spd Manual)
To this day the only new car I’ve ever bought, and one of the best cars I’ve ever owned.
The tech package included a heads up display projected on the windshield which was really cool in 2011.
I was even able to run it on E85, which was pretty cool, and I did it as often as I could (though I only ever found one gas station that sold the stuff near me)
I got a software tune for it, but otherwise left it as is. The software tune really transformed the little 2L I4. No idea how much power I was making, but it was no slouch, especially when running on E85.
I sadly only kept this one for a couple of years after the bankruptcy. A car-wash ruined the chrome strip and light bar assembly on the trunk lid, and when I went to the dealer to get a replacement, they told me I lucked out. I got one of the last 3 in the world.
Mechanical parts were pretty widely available (due to them essentially just buying from the Bosch, and the likeparts bin for engine management and using many GM parts for things like wiper motors, etc. The engine and transmission were also GM parts at this point.) but body parts were going to be scarce.
I got a little spooked and decided to sell.
I had a bit of an identity crisis now though. I had been a “Saab Guy” for so long, I didn’t know what to do with Saab no longer around. I had also really liked driving a car with a manual transmission, and they were getting really difficult to find around me, at least in cars I liked.
In the end I just needed a car, so I bought a…
2009 Volvo S80 T6 (AWD)
Compared to my Saabs the handling was truck-like, fuel economy was poor, and it had an automatic transmission. And it was beige…
(Well, Volvo called it “Oyster Grey Metallic” which makes it sound better, but it was still the ugliest color of any car I’ve ever owned.)
The car did have a few redeeming qualities though. The thing was idiot proof. The AWD system was great. Point the steering wheel in the direction you want to go and gun it. It doesn’t matter what the surface is like, it’s going to go where you want it to go.
That, and the straight six turbo, did move it at a decent pace.
A side benefit of this car was that a late 2000’s beige Volvo is completely invisible to police. There were times when I should have gotten speeding tickets and I just didn’t.
Two things happened during my ownership of this Volvo. I bought a 65" plasma TV, and found I couldn’t fit it in the trunk. I was just barely able to slide it in by removing it from the packaging in the parking lot.
Then a bit later, I went on an IKEA shopping trip, and had a hell of a time fitting what I needed for the house in it. I started to think I needed something bigger. But I was not ready for a truck. Or for an SUV. As a proud car guy I still hated all things truck and SUV.
So I bought a used older Volvo wagon to have a s a secondary hauler:
2000 Volvo V70 (base model)
Having always been a “one car at a time” guy, I now had two.
It’s not fast, but the base model (168hp Straight 5) is ok. I don’t feel like I am going to die trying to merge onto a busy freeway.
But I can now haul stuff. People used to talk about half ton pickup trucks. Well my manual says I have a half ton Volvo wagon. Last year during a project, I brought home 32 80lb bags of concrete from Home Depot in the back of this thing. (in multiple trips, of course, 8 at a time.)
I had a loaner Volvo XC90 from the dealership once (while servicing a later car) and that large SUV couldn’t fit as much in the back as I can with this wagon when the seats are folded down:
(not my picture)
The beige Sedan was starting to need replacement. I still haven’t found myself in the car world and struggled with this purchase. I guess I’m a “Volvo guy” now? But I like the older ones. The rugged and dependable tanks. Not the new “luxury” models.
The Volvo I used to like is pretty much what only Subaru is now, and I just couldn’t bring myself to buy a Subaru.
So I bought another Volvo.
2017 Volvo S90 T6 (Momentum Plus with Polestar Factory Tune)
I got a decent deal on an off-lease model with only 16k miles on the odometer. I don’t usually buy first year models, but 2017 was the last model year of the S90 we in the U.S. got shipped that was made in Sweden. Starting in 2018 the U.S. got the stretched wheel base model made in China. (Europe continues to get the shorter wheel base made in Sweden)
I test drove one of the longer wheelbase models, and while it was only a difference of a few inches, it really felt different, large and bulky. So I opted - against my better judgment - to go with the first model year.
It’s a very pretty car. It took me years to get over the fact that I thought it looked too obnoxious driving around in it. After all, I was used to the opposite-of-flashy, older beige sedan.
It is a very paradoxical car. Despite its tiny 2.0L I4 (tied as the smallest engine I’ve ever owned in a car), the fact that it is heavy, and has AWD (which usually adds in drivetrain losses) through the miracle of twin charging (both a turbo and a supercharger) and the fact that it has a ridiculous 8 speed automatic transmission that shifts pretty fast, this thing is also the fastest car I’ve ever owned (stock)
I bought it in late summer 2019. Then in early 2020 the world shut down. I’ve been working hybrid (but mostly from home) ever since. For many local errands I’ve been driving the old green wagon (which I still own) meaning that 6 years later, I still only have about 45k miles on the thing.
I don’t know how long I want to keep it though. With all the fancy aspects of its design (twin charged engine, AWD, air suspension, active suspension, road following headlights, etc. etc.) I just know it is going to be impossibly expensive to maintain once things start breaking.
But yeah. TLDR. There’s my car story if anyone cares.
Edit:
The saga continues. Two of our three cars have been replaced.