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Just ramblings, but I feel odd like something is missing


#21

I do have hobbies, like electronics and stuff like that. But I have stopped completely when I got the job. Like everything g else stopped when it started, and I don’t really know why. I have energy, I enjoy the things, but once I get home that is the end of the day really, I have all ready switched off.

@oO.o yeah not good. Regular breakfast, cereal. Lunch, that varies depending on the day and what someone else or I made recently. And dinner… Maybe.

My work is reasonably physical but excercize has never been a part of my life really.


#22

its called public disassociation ( lone wolf syndrome) you prefer to be alone rather than associate with crowds.
there is nothing wrong with this except in the eyes of those who crave public attention and interaction (they will call you nerd , weirdo, creep and other blandishments)!
you prefer to spend your time contemplating your ideas and theories, often do a bit of gaming, or participating in quiet sports such as hunting and fishing, or hiking.

being tired after work is normal but if you are feeling listless then you need to check and make sure your ventilation over your welder is adequate.
as a former welder myself I know the importance of ventilation and the symptoms of metal fume fever.
the smoke coming off the electrode and weld puddle contains minute quantities of metal and can wreak havoc with your breathing.
symptoms often include flu like distress (coughing, sneezing, headache, and difficulty breathing) and in some cases confusion.
welding plated materials such as galvanized metals is extra dangerous and you must wear the proper filter on you respirator mask.


#23

There’s a lot wrong when you start feeling lonely…


#24

Not the same.

Fix this. If you’re not taking care of your body, it’s unlikely you will have extra energy or be happy.

Try out some diets and see what makes you feel better. I found intermittent fasting and a low carb diet makes me feel best and have the most energy, but people are different and that might be good for you or it might be terrible. I would say that cereal in the morning is a lot of carbohydrates, which can set you up to feel fatigue as the day goes on, but again, you gotta experiment and figure out what does what.

Same with exercise. Try some stuff and see what you like, but do something to supplement the repetitive tasks at work.

If none of that works, there’s always therapy. If you do have a psychological ailment, you should consult a professional.


#25

I was posting to the OP He said he was missing something and that is not necessarily loneliness!
it could be the desire to see new things or places.
preferring to be alone is not a crime
its hard for many people to understand what its like to go to a quiet spot and just listen to the sounds of nature or the sound of the surf.

but yes proper diet and exercise can make a difference
But a lot of what the OP is describing can also be associated with the hazards of the job (which is why I put the information about metal fume fever in there)
If this situation started just shortly after taking the job then its a definite red flag here, and its important to do a serious evaluation of the ppe and procedures used on the job.


#26

I can relate to “not doing anything, time just passes” -part too. I had this problem when I was studying and I have the same problem now that I’m in full time work. So you’re definitely not alone with this.

What helped me a little is to pick up new hobbies. I started learning Japanese for little over a year ago, but due to things that project has been on hold for a while now. Other thing that helped me was the Devember challenge here, which made me finally to start programing again, a thing I’ve contemplated for a long time.

I might actually fit into the Lone wolf definition @Gnuuser suggested, since I don’t exactly long for the human interaction. I don’t say I don’t like being with others, but I’ve noticed I charge my batteries when I’m alone, doing exactly what I want to do, be it watching anime, movies, going to gym, listening to music, or just browsing forums or letting the time pass by.

If you feel there’s something wrong, it won’t hurt to go and consult a professional. Psychologist are good at what they are doing and should be able to help you. :slight_smile:


#27

Thabk s Gnuuser and @psycho_666. There are elements of both in here. I do like being alone at times, all the peacefulness and hiking is exactly what I like, and yes just sitting and listening watching the world work and enjoying figuring bits of it out.

At the same time I enjoy people and socialising (a bit, not like pubs and clubs but getting out and hanging out with people) and there I must admit I like listening to people there too. I talk sure and join the conversation but sometimes come across as odd sitting near by not exactly looking at anything just listening, I will make myself known when I feel I have something to contribute.

@oO.o I have never been one for diets but I don’t"listen to my body" and try not to eat too badly or too much of any one thing. Sure I get it wrong every now and then but I don’t feel too distressed digestionally… Exercise is a bit hit and miss for me it very much depends on my mood and right now the seasons are not helping. Go to work when it is dark, sun rises when I’m indoors and it is getting dark by the time I am home. So going out just does not happen much right now. This is a fairly depressing place when it is dark and you have nowhere to be so I stay in, maybe walk to the shops. When it is bright out it is fine and plenty of paces to walk to and enjoy but its the country side so it is not exactly safe to go out in the dark.

Thanks @Even747 yeah new hobbies would be good but even I don’t understand really what happened the old ones. I just don’t do them any more, though my brain has been ticking over on a custom mechanical keyboard again since I learned our profiler will clean cut 1.5mm plate…

Part of the losing interest, although not quite accurate descriptor, is a compounding problem that I have been working on a little. I used to read all sorts of nonsense, literally anything I found interesting (TRS and what that stands for and can do, how the a12 oxcart became the sr71, random space science, cut content from games…) And from there would either find something useful to actually learn or integrate into something else. Recently though I have not even been reading and that has dried up a lot of the other streams of information that feeds my other interests.

I have seen someone previously and may do again in the future but location is a big factor in a lot of my perceived woes. I am not central to anything but boredom.


#28

Out of the comfort zone with you.

Cook a meal and invite your friends for dinner.


#29

Yeah your probably right. I should do something like that.

See now I am thinking and digging into the why and it is coming back to being stuck in this place, which is a line of thinking I am not getting into, it does nothing good for my mental state.


#30

Don’t dwell, get shit done. Just do it.
Write a list of what you’re gonna cook and who you want to invite, maybe some beers too, weekends are usually best for everyone.


#31

That’s good really. I used the word “diet”, but you shouldn’t think of it that way. It should be the eating habit that makes you feel good and you like enough to do nearly all of the time. If you feel ok with what you’re doing now, no need to mess with it. I just made the recommendation because you indicated that it was “not good.”

Oh yeah, that definitely doesn’t help. Take a well-reviewed vitamin D supplement.


#32

Sounds like you simply lack a reason to exist. Your life seems to be reactive — as opposed to proactive. If you adopt/accept a reason to exist, it will generate the energy that fuels motivation that makes action possible and meaningful. The completion of meaningful actions produces endorphins. That creates a positive feedback loop. Free time ceases to be ‘a problem’ soon thereafter.

Put another way: Humans need long-term goals to work towards and motivate them.

A short-term band-aid is easy (assuming you want to maintain at least some degree of control): Insert a non-human organism into your domestic environment that places daily demands on your time and mind through its inherent unpredictability. If the existence of this organism forces you to go outside on a regular basis — into a different environment that can provide stimulus — then even better. Prime candidate: Canis lupus familiaris.


#33

Cats work too.


#34

Indeed this speaks to me greatly and my therapist said the exact same thing when I started seeking out help because of the same situation as the OP.

I had basically focused most of my life on only a handful of goals (such as finishing my Bachelor’s Degree, finding a good paying job, and getting my own place) without thinking much about anything beyond those, only to then feel empty and meaningless as soon as I had finally reached them. I let routine get the best of me and my life became jaded, slowly suffering a breakdown into one of the most severe depressive episodes of my life. I had disconnected from my family and friends and started to feel really lonely even though I always enjoyed spending time with them, which made me feel even worse. I felt no reason to leave the apartment so I stopped doing so even though I always liked to go out. Everything happened so gradually and slowly that I didn’t notice until I was in a really bad shape.

During my therapy sessions, the doctor mentioned there are several important aspects of life people must tend to for their well-being and some examples I can remember are: The Social Aspect, The Professional Aspect, Family, Spiritual, Romantic. If a persons’ life only consists of one or two of these aspects, it will inevitably start to feel like nothing but a meaningless grind. She clarified that spiritual doesn’t necessarily mean religion mind you, an alternate example she gave was seeking a connection with nature, doing charity work, or anything else that feeds your spirit.

I will omit my own reasons for having neglected most of these aspects because, well, they are quite personal and I don’t want to make this reply even more lengthy. But basically I had decided I was comfortable with where I was because I was too afraid of trying out new things, and the root cause of THIS root cause (recuuurrrsion) goes even deeper and way back. This is also why I would recommend the help of a professional, each person’s reasons can be wildly different and even more complicated.

I hope this somehow helps. It is good to see one can post these kinds of things in here indeed and feel like we are among friends. :slight_smile:


#35

from experience i know that vitamine D can be a great help if you lose energy, i am using vitamine D for a few years now and during the autum and winter months and it keeps me going not only phisical but also mentaly.
i did not believe my doctor when i asked for help with the same kind of problems you have, but it was that simple to get my energy back
from that also came the energy to start working on my other problems


#36

Okay that’s been a few recommendations for something easy to try. So I will check it out. Thanks.


#37

Going out of my comfort zone and hoping i don’t insult/hurt you,
About 10 years ago I was diagnosed as chronically depressed, i was losing interest in everything and i walked away from my freinds, when i was using medication and vitamine D i could have a “normal” live.
4 years ago after my second crisis a psychologist asked me a bit more than standard questions and after a few months he suggested that i might have some aspect of autism, the problem you talked about

was the same for me.
he told me that the events of the working day cluttered my mind stopped me from doing anything and that i could not overcome that by doing something else. i had to learn to create a structure in my mind (like a program) that would help my to categorize all events of the day and put them in a appropriate place.
Like small talk from fellow workers in “forget about it” and a usefull comment from a older co worker in “learn from it”. This helps me up to today, the first half hour at home after work i spent thinking about the workday, after that more then 76% of the clutter is gone and i have room/energy in my head to start doing something.

i am stopping here because i am rambling a bit now, my brain is trying to spit out advice in my native language (dutch), but the other part of my brain can’t keep up translating it
i hope there’s something useful in it for you


#38

No worries and no I am not hurt/offended.

I do have depression, it has been bad, I have been on medication for it too so that is spot on. I have not been to a real therapist, I have seen an occupational therapist but that was with an aim to getting a job, I have not been solely to talk and do the back and forward thing. Location is a factor in everything.

I am very rural and don’t drive in a small town which was not very welcoming initially, still within my age group it is not but other wise it is okay now but I am long past what ever it has to offer, which is just bars for social stuff and I don’t want that. Other than that there is a few small shops and then nothing. Transport is both very expensive and utterly useless times of day for anything but just walking around where it drops you off which makes everything feel worse. It literally drops me I’m Dublin city and I am surrounded by opportunity and endless things to do… Except I can’t because the bus does not run at working times and now that I am i don’t have the time to screw around. There is no therapist where I live, no anything really useful at all.

I have suspected I have had some form of mental something, I don’t want to run around saying I am autistic because I really don’t know but it is definitely a problem with how I deal, or dont, with people. My friends at least those that have been around me enough know this, they have pointed it out but not in any bad way. It manifests as not talking much, gesturing an nodding, not looking at people when I am out (like walking through crowded dublin I probably could not describe anyone I have been past as I just don’t look at them) and in general almost needing someone else to say “hey let’s do X” for me to do much. When that does happen I am enthusiastic and happy and all the rest but I won’t suggest much to do because I don’t know if the other people want to do whatever so I just don’t say anything.

It is very odd it is very much a hurdle moment. After that initial start of a conversation of whatever is happening I am fine but I can’t make things happen. I can, I just don’t.

When I get home from work I am not thinking of work, or much of anything. Time was when I was in deep depression my mind would be constant noise, thoughts and inner monologue, the medication helped that immensely but now that I am not on them and also feeling much better it is still quiet. So when I get home it is not thoughts constantly good or bad it is just blank, like it really have switched off my brain but I am still awake.

I am also getting rambly again.


#39

From this reply i kind of think that you are a introvert person more then anything else.
you must understand that i am not qualified to give a diagnosis but i notice things that made live difficult for me in your story.
the third paragraph can apply to me as well, it’s my daily routine when i’m out of the house.
after reading the last paragraph i started to think about what i used to do after coming home from work, it looks and sound the same to me.
It changed for me after the latest therapy sessions( 2 years ago) i learnt that even when my brain appeared quiet and noise free, i was thinking about everything, but could not break free of the things that happened. there was no fight about good or bad, my brain was digesting the past day and there was no room for anything else not even a new thought,
after learning how to steer my brain away from that, it did not occupy or dominate my brain that much any more and i could start to think and do things.
maybe there is a different way for you out of this.
i wish for you to find a way out, all i can do is to tell you that you have to find a way to get control over your brain so that you can create these “hurdle” moments.
starting something is difficult but in front of real friends it is easier, try it


#40

you should have mentioned the depression in your original post because this poses a whole other set of circumstances.
therapy pets are marvellous and can do wonders
I suggest a cat because they are more self sufficient and lower maintenance.
but on the other hand a dog will require participation and exorcise that you could use as well
a young cat can be so amusing when they are playing and that is a welcome distraction when you get into a fugue state of mind
vitamin d and b supplements can help a lot as well But follow a dr’s recommendation.

I really dont trust anti depressive drugs because they can sometimes have the opposite effect.
dont be afraid to talk to a good therapist and this you need to be proactive about.
I was a counselor in the navy so I know what Im talking about!

you can pm me at any time you feel the need to.