ITT Tech Issues That You Really Can't Do Anything About

Got any fun/sad/stupid stories/problems that you found weren’t solvable?

I thought to ask you all, because recently i thought that i was going to set up port forwarding and Dynamic DNS so i can talk to my home server wherever i am.
This, much to my surprise, is much more difficult that i first anticipated.
No matter what i did, it wouldn’t work, I was completely confused for a few days there, and then i had the sudden realization that my ISP may not support it, strange i know. So i called them up, and the conversation went something like this:

Support: Hello, my name is [we’ll call him Barry] with [my ISP] how can i help you today?
Me: Yeah I was wondering, is there something that i have to do first with you guys before i can port forward?
Barry: Ah yes, that requires a specific configuration that we do on our end, and requires an additional purchase of [never heard of before package]
Me: So how much would that package be?
Barry: For initial instillation, $300, and $100 a month to maintain your configuration.

You wot mate?
left me a bit speechless tbh

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Stupid people. Stupid problems. Do I need to say anymore?

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Explaining to tech departments that with physical access no amount of locking down can save a device.

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Explaining to a client business that they need to upgrade their linux servers when the bash bug was out. (Can’t remember the name of it).

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shellshock

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Passwords.

$100 to run your servers? That is absolutely insane

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I’ve been waiting 3 months for our network and development teams to get me a full list of required ports for ingress and egress on endpoints so I can get the local software firwall locked down to deny all minus those ports. I’m tempted to just turn on the policy I have in place one day and when they complain just tell them I waited for them and it was their fault for not completing their work.

I’m sure that would go over well.

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Bad wifi in the building at work. There’s a solution but it costs a lot so we’ve done what we can all the wifi would be used for is connecting the TVs to stream some music/news channels. So to work around this we got some Chromecasts in place.

Sort of works connections not great but hey you get your daily news. Now If the person in charge of the TVs would stop setting them to stream a fake BBC news channel that’d be great. Last week the royal family quit and North Korea nuked Japan.

Somehow fake news being streamed is IT’s fault.

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When your employer’s expectation is larger than their budget.

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Classic
http://www.zdnet.com/article/ive-broken-my-coffee-cup-holder-and-other-tales-of-helpdesk-woe/
"“Can you send me a copy of the disk I asked?.. Sure enough, two days later, I received in the post a photocopy of the floppy disk.”“
https://www.snopes.com/humor/business/wordperfect.asp
”“Good! Go get them and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”

“Really! Is it that bad?”

“Yes, I’m afraid it is.”

“Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”

“Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.”"

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Oh boy does this ring true. Endless source of fun. And I keep telling them to just wrote them down somewhere safe at home. No dice.

Or they do and then hide the paper for security… And forget where it was so reset the passwords any way. Then months later password needed again, forgotten, reset again and next time there is vague memories of multiple passwords none of which are correct resulting in at least lost time and at most account lockouts for a while. Always fun.

ALWAYS FUN!