Today you’re gonna learn about how to have a good conversation.
Conversation can be seen as a waste of time, unengaging or even intimidating by some.
Oftentimes one might have thoughts, ideas and feelings they wish to discuss with someone, only to find themselves talking about the weather to the other party while both of you were actually thinking about that SpaceX launch last week.
So what do you do? You go home, log onto that forum, and engage in discussion there instead.
You also might decide to discuss it with the few friends in your “inner circle” where you’re super comfortable and can’t say anything wrong.
However, there is something to be said about having deeper conversation with the unsuspecting citizen, and you’re likely missing out on insight and ideas for not doing it.
Now as for how to do it I shall refer you to an expert in the field: Celeste Headlee
The 10 points of her talk are as follows:
1. Don’t multitask 2. Don’t pontificate 3. Use open ended questions 4. Go with the flow 5. If you don’t know, say that you don’t know 6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs 7. Don’t repeat yourself 8. Don’t go into the details(names, number, dates etc.) 9. Listen 10. Be brief
Here is the transcript for those who’d like to read it instead.
Questions are welcome below.
Check back next week for a new topic on How To Life. Anything specific you’d like to see covered? Don’t hesitate to make a suggestion.
Recently, I was having a discussion with my neighbor when he asked me a question to which I didn’t know the answer. While we were talking, I pulled out my phone, asked him to continue and that I was going to look up the answer while we were conversing. He was immediately offended and stopped talking, waiting for me to finish, after I insisted that I perform at minimum 8 tasks simultaneously at work at any point in time. He countered that he’s never met anyone who could do more than one thing at a time. We’ve been neighbors for years and talk on a regular basis, but somehow had a breakdown in communication because of past experiences. The point is that many people don’t understand that some of us excel at multitasking, so even if you’re good at it, take this point to heart when having a conversation with someone whom you don’t know.
The trouble is that I’m completely the opposite, but I can understand if someone doesn’t know me. I literally cannot do one thing at a time without getting frustrated or bored (which leads to not paying attention). If I can multitask and answer multiple parts of the question within the same conversation, I can continue conversing for hours. Multitasking is my way of respecting the conversation and wanting it to continue, but as I said before, I can understand for anyone who does not know me (which was not the case with my neighbor).
You could do a “How to Life” series of threads, and format the title in a manner such as: “How to Life: Conversation” or something to that effect, or do tags or something. Just some possible suggestions.
As much as I don’t like to give people financial advice, some basic stuff about 401k, roth vs traditional IRA’s and that sort of stuff might be nice to throw out there with a huge disclaimer. (although, it’s obviously different in every country)