Hey, so I've never really done this, I've never really shared my personal feelings or anything. I just sort of just keep to myself and pretend nothing is bugging me; but it feels like it has gone to a point where I just want to scream and I feel I'm gonna to break or say something I'd regret, so I just thought maybe I could get some advice or something, because I really am feeling really low
I guess I'll share a bit about myself, I'm 22yrs old I've never really drinked like many others do like I've never really experienced getting drunk or having a full drink ever, I don't smoke, and I don't do drugs ever. I don't really get to go out much due to friends really not wanting to be my friends, they don't even text to say hey. I don't really do social media; and I really don't like it. I just pretty much just game or watch youtube, tv shows, or come to the tek here and there, Occasionally go out with my really good friends. I've sort of been feeling kind of been feeling down a lot and I always wanted to leave home, leave my life behind and live somewhere else on my own, but I don't think that could ever really happen anytime soon. I'm disabled trying to get a degree in computer science ,and with no work, except for the times I work with my brother... cleaning houses, but I've been there so long I really hate and I get so much shit there, that the pay starts to become very unattractive. I've always been the youngest of my sibling, but even though I'm the youngest I get the most shit on, the least amount of respect and hardly any affection, besides from my nephews. I know that we all have problems, but I just wanted to get this out of my head; and as I get older, I just feel myself getting more and more depressed, I used to be so optimistic and cheerful.
I dont do any of that
I do because im compelled to know everything
not having a job to schedule your self around can be a real drag
thats ok
we love you
Do you feel better letting this out? That is the important thing.
Take it from someone who is twice your age. Nothing is as good or as bad as it seems.
You stay safe!
(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ
You might or might not find it surprising that theres actually a reasonable number of people who are or have been in a somewhat similar place as you are now.
It goes up and down, and you might just need to find some of those things you like doing. not having income can really make you feel crap. but you just keep working towards something.
Hello CourageousTacos!
I will be glad to talk. I too have similar problems. I might be able to understand, but you can feel safe that I will listen without judgement. One really good resource that you could try checking out is Kati Morton.
She is a licensed therapist with over 600 mental health videos on YouTube. She does 2-3 a week. Some are very specific to a diagnosis, some are discussions with a guest, she even talked about Pokemon GO! and mental health.
I go to http://www.katimorton.com/ almost as much as I do Tek Syndicate. I go if I have a problem. I go if I feel good to try to help others so I can "Pay It Forward" for the times when I am in need. Sometimes I go just to hang out in chat. The chat is moderated and filtered, so it it a "Troll Free Zone" and people can't type swears or words like 'rape' that may trigger someone.
Check Kati out, stay strong, feel free to PM me and remember my motto...
Press On Regardless
I feel you dude. I'm somewhat in a similar situation. I would not consider myself depressed by any means but I'll just say I am not the most happiest position in my life right now given stupid circumstances I cannot control. Anyway, it is good that you let your feelings out as some here could relate.
Hey Tacos.. 22 is young. You're still on the edge of being a student. Adulthood might seem scary and uncomfortable but we all did it :)
The best thing I have found when down is any form of exercise that puts a strain on the muscles. It gets natural drugs into your system and you do actually feel better afterwards. Better than doctors drug I think.
As the drinking, getting drunk etc. There is nothing wrong with that. But only do it with trusted friends that will look after each other. Getting drunk in some nightclub etc is a really bad idea.
Good luck with the CS degree, Maybe try pick up some work fixing / setting up computers on the side if cleaning getting you down. Ive advertised in the local papers and in supermarket notices boards and got work before. It actually pretty cool of help people get there PC running well when you're paid for it :)
yea, I do feel better actually thank you. I just can never really be open with people, not my family not even my close friends, reason for that is I see them often, and because I've kind of lost faith in my so called best friend, and now I cant even trust him with the things that are troubling me. Once I trusted him with my previous embarrassing attempts at a relationships, and now he brings it up almost every day, when I want it to be a secret and not reminded and sometimes he just opens his mouth and tells almost everyone around us. He uses it as a way to shut me up when we're just fooling around; and to be honest I could joke around and be an ass, but I will never do that to someone else; and I feel I cant even trust anyone close to me.
thanks friend :) I'm just glad theirs people out there.
what seems to be bugging you friend, that's the least I could do you listen to me and I'll listen to you; and I'll be here for you as well. :)
Yea, I really want to get into exercise, hell I know I'm a bit chubby now, I want to join a gym get a bit fit, I also want to take some sort of martial art, like boxing; but because I'm my disability and the times were I was made fun of because of that, I'm kind of self conscious about taking that kind of step, to be honest I've kind of wanted a friend of mine to motivate or train with me, so I won't feel so out of place. The times I've worked out, I've actually enjoyed it it takes my mind away from everything.
Being self-conscious is exactly why you should start training. If you never do it you'll just get more self-conscious about it. Trust me on that one. I used to be really obese, but that was way back in high school. Then I lost a lot of weight and I was kinda skinny. It actually made me feel worse when I saw how non-muscular and soft I was once all the fat was gone. But 16 months at a gym later and I was feeling really good about myself.
You said that you have friends but they don't want to be your friends. That's most likely because you don't do anything they like to do. But if even one of them goes to the gym you should contact him and ask him to take you with him because you'd like to start exercising. Trust me, gym freaks love having pet projects like that.
Give your self a routeen, and some personal goals outside of the degree. Be it music, micro computing, art or some such, that way its not mindless social media it's being online with a purpose.
I suffer from anxiety and depression, and other physical illnesses and while I don't believe in the existential philosophy, we live in a society without rights of passage and need to find ourselves and in that way we all suffer from an existential dilemma.
But as you get older you will find that when you start a new project or feel like you are achieving goals for yourself then friends with similar interest will come to you. Just because of our call and response societal nature, so as we talk to people to learn new things we make acquaintances and eventually friends.
That has been my main weakness with exercise as well. Having a training partner really keeps you going.
Even a 30m-1 hour walk picks me up. Good chance to listen to podcasts and audiobooks.
From what I have seen, you sound like you are in a rut. Everyone from time to time find themselves in a stagnate situation that will not change unless you do something new. I feel that volunteer work might be the ticket out of this rut. Hospitals, food banks, and churches are always looking for help. This might get you out of your current situation. You will meet new people. They'll probably be older, but that's fine. You sound like you could use some friends who are more mature. You will connect into another network of friends. Friends who may know of other jobs. Plus, this will look good on a resume. That is a lot of birds with one stone:)
I did a lot of volunteer work it is nice and rewarding and gets you out of the house, which helps with not being internal all the time.
So I whole heatedly agree.
Also any other thing that gets you out and moving is good, anxiety is odd in that it gets worse the more you don't do anything so it feels comfortable now to avoid new situations but in the long run it will make it worse.
You did the right thing coming here and getting all of this pressure you feel out of the system. From my experience my suggestion is to take the time to take out all of this bad feelings you have somehow, the way that you feel like doing it to avoid them building pressure inside you that could lead you into doing stupid things (I've been doing like really really dumb shit because of that so, I know it for a fact). Leave and go elsewhere I'm afraid that won't fix anything that you feel broken. What you should try before moving out is find your balance inside this batshit crazy world. If you don't feel like trusting your friends 99 times out of 100 they're still childish and are not worth you effort. I'm sure you'll have a better chance of having a good feeling with older people, because usually are more mature and know better how to relate with others. When something bothers you try to get it out immediatly (with respect, always!), talk with you family about why they're so ice cold with you, be combative and fight for you own happiness when it's required. If I got you right I think that you've never had a discussion with you parents about going out or stay out till late night.
I can't tell you what to do, everything I said are just suggestions that came from my own experience. You'll find soon your balance, I'm sure! I send you a fraternal hug from here!
Never ever give up, there's a place in the world for anyone including you!
My therapist says she has had many patients that refused to take meds but got great improvement in their mood through exercise. I don't like going to the gym so I find other means to exercise.
My main excercise now is my bicycle. There is a 25 mile bike trail along the river in my city that I love.
I used to go camping and hiking. Love getting outside, but I have bad knees so now I go canoe camping and that is good exercise for my arms.
I also like to swim, snorkel and go surfing. The thing about surfing is 90% of the time you are just floating, waiting for the right wave. The other 10% you are swimming to save your life. But it's fun.
My point is there are plenty of fun activities to do that don't seem like "Oh shit, I have to use my gym membership today." It's more like "The better shape I am in, the more fun I can have."