Women have this idea that you will want to change once you are married. It doesn't matter how much you partook in your hobbies before you were married, they think that by virtue of getting married, you will want to change to do what 'married people do' (translation, give up your hobbies and do what she wants you to do). I've seen it everywhere.
Most women don't really have a hobby they like as much as men like their hobbies (in your case, gaming, probably among other hobbies). And they usually don't see that any sacrifice would or even could be a problem for you.
Frankly, marriage is a bad deal for a man. It's all sacrifice, and then they get a divorce, take the kids, half your wealth, and a large proportion of your income for life... all while having less sex than you had when you were just dating. Even dating can be fraught with danger... but that's a whole 'nutha Oprah.
tl;dr: Marriage is of no benefit to a man, get out early if you are married, it'll only get worse if you get married, and it'll only get better if you are single.
Maybe the misconception is that in some countries, "unfaithfulness" is still a ground for divorce. That makes marriage into a business for a lot of women, but then in these countries/cultures, women get a lot less chances than men in other areas, like these are the countries where women are taught that they should be ashamed and insecure because female body parts can't be shown in media and in public, and these are the countries with a definite rape culture in some areas. It all goes together, you can't have the one without the other, either women get the same rights as men, or men get to pay extra for women...
Same here. Mine are little as well, and at one point, I decided that if I'm going to game or moonlight a project, I'm going to have to trade sleep for it. It was different before kids, but the principle was the same. I don't think she ever felt second to gaming, but she knew some of the household duties were, so that was the same, to her. It just makes no sense to her to stay and watch the end of a film when there's work to be done. It's difficult sometimes.
That my experience. The only advice I am qualified to give is that if you feel you are losing interest in gaming, it's ok. It's probably not forever, and playing when you don't really have a desire to won't get you anywhere. Everything happens in seasons.
I'm not a gamer per se, but I do binge on a decent triple-A title once or twice a year.
My vice has always been making lots of money, which at times had undesired effects on my marriage in the past. You will learn to take a step back from work or gaming or whatever to spend more time with the wife and kids.
I justify the time I spend making lots of money now, so my kids will never need to work. Another tip would be to make sure you set a reasonable amount on your wife's bank cards, like a 3k daily limit. They love to spend. ;)
Maybe you could use gaming in the classroom as a teaching aid, and change the curriculum to allow for this, then you have the perfect excuse to game on your "down time".
@NetBandit I think you have no idea what you're talking about. Married life might be all those things for someone like you, but other people are not like you. Different strokes.
Agree. It's not all doom and gloom. If your in a healthy relationship your partner will respect your hobbies and passions and you'll have time for them because they make you happy. Obviously it's quite a lot harder to schedule time for hobbies when in a relationship, but it's doable.
That's not a good idea. Suggesting that your kids may never need to work means that they will never need to learn anything. And if they don't learn any skill they grow up into kinda useless adults. Because they are always relying on you.
It is obviously great if you earn enough to take care of everything but what if something happens to you and you lose all your money. What are your grown up kids gonna do then? Live with their grandparents and sell drugs on street?
You should force them to do some work when the time is right, not because I said so or because poor people had to do the same when they were young. It is because they need to learn how to become independent and take care of themselves. So that they are prepared for the big bad world.
I have done my fair share of research on gaming in the classroom but unfortunately since our education system is really set up to teach to the standards of state exams, there is really little I can do to change it. I have started board game clubs with my students and a fellow teacher did a minecradt club but even with those extra curricular clubs you have to abide by school guidelines.
The concept of communication seems to be the key in all the responses I've seen if your spouse or girlfriend has a problem with you playing games then explain to her what it means to you. I speak for myself when I say this but I'm pretty sure we all grew up with an inherit love for games and especially video games and for me brings back nostalgic memories of time spent with my brother who is always on move as he's in the military.
Well, I can't say I have any experience dealing with marriage and gaming since I've been single for over 6 years now.
However, try to set aside some time that doesn't conflict with her schedule or yours, and try to game then. And make sure to take care of the typical husband duties (take out the trash, dishes, etc.) throw in a date night here and there, and you should be in the clear.
Or you could try introducing her to story driven games like the Witcher 3, and play in 1 hour sessions. I've known some couples that played that game together. They just stick to the main storyline quests, and play through it like an interactive TV series.
I find it interesting the people commenting that it's having kids and not the being married that kills being able to game....
As for being married? Well providing you aren't ramping up the hours your playing ( at least quickly and drastically) then there really is no reason for your partner to complain about it... The reality is, they should be used to your gaming routine by now unless your getting hitched inside the first year of your relationship...
As for having kids... Both yes and no... They'll kill it for the first 6ish months for sure, but as the father of an 1.5 year old boy, I can tell you that I've averaged around 10 hours a week over the last 8-9 months...
I also work full time, 40 hours a week, and myself and my partner ( of 5 years) are currently going through the stressful busy-work of buying land and building our own home as well...
So no, you probably won't be gaming all night, 3-4 nights a week, but 5 - 6 hours a week should definitely be manageable...
You both need time to yourselves, and if that means you like playing video games then any wife should respect that. Unlikely that you'll ever need to say anything to your wife about gaming if it's under 10 hours a week. I know my wife watches that much Netflix a week, which gives me time to check my emails.
It was more or less just a figure of speech. I would like my kids to do some kind of tertiary study, whether it be at university or some kind of trade-school. It's really up to them, whatever path they take in life. I will give them some help a long the way.
I agree with this; it's just so happens "the big bad world" as you put it, has become unrealistically expensive to live in some parts of the world. The onus is now on the parents to help their kids future due to government/political inertia, greedy developers regulatory complacency and lack of common-sense.
For example, in the two countries that I live between, a very small basic city house is over a million dollars US, and by the time my children are old enough to buy property this cost will surely double. Loan affordability at current interest rates is roughly 5-6k US a month on a mortgage of said amount. Price to income ratio means most cannot afford to buy a house, and so people are forced to rent property, or move to rural areas where job opportunities don't exist.
For me, it's boils down to time. Kids take up time - that's not a bad thing, I love it, but time for other things is now in short supply.
After work it's kids time, nothing really gets done until they're in bed ... 7:30pm. From that point there's a long list of things to do that never ends, not to mention cooking and eating our own meal. The kids will have us up at 6:30am so our night ends at 10:30pm.
Those 3 hours go fast. Finding the energy to do anything, other than collapse on the sofa, for the bit of time that you do have is difficult. When I know my wife is going to be out one night I spend the night before making sure we're on top of everything so that I don't waste gaming time.
Bringing it back on topic; my eldest is 4 and is showing an interest in computer games. I've set up a raspberry pi with emulators and SNES-like controllers and he's getting the hang of sonic and mario. On my main machine he enjoys playing pinball emulators. I can see a rich future where we enjoy games together ... there's going to be a day, probably sooner than I'd like, when he's showing me the ropes in GTA IX