Games for Master Race Noob?

You make it sound as if OP will have an aneurysm when he finds out that controls for FPS games are different on PC than on console. Come on, I mean, I'm not so hot about them either, but recommending FPS games isn't reprehensible. OP could play some PC-exclusive FPS games like CS:GO or TF2. Those are loads of fun to play and you go in expecting it to have PC controls.

I'm a third-person shooter/slasher myself. Witcher series, or Shadow of Mordor, or even Twilight Princess under emulation are excellent games to play on PC.

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Well, not, that was not the idea, and i sorry if it sounded like that...
My point was, that there is a difference in the controls, and instead of jumping to the things he is used to play with controller, better to play something that will help him with the mouse gaming first...
I base that on my retarded controller skills. I have a 360 controller and i still play all games with mouse and keyboard. I just can't wrap my head around the controller. My guess is there will be some gap he will need to fill, before his brain rewire itself to not think of double thumb sticks...

Earth Defense Force 4.1 or whatever the name was...

It'll be different, to be sure, but OP will certainly get used to the controls as time goes by.

I still love my Gamecube controllers. Best controller ever.

COD WAW zombies. Easy AI and endless. Guns have basically no recoil at all. You can also get modded maps which are super easy to go high rounds on look into those. Game rewards head shots and they are easy to get so go for them.
Getting good at aiming with mouse and keyboard is easy and will take a week at most. But for most games have great aim doesn't make you good. It's how you play that makes you good.

Well, that's the beauty of pc, you have options! i.e. I play several FPS with a PS Move Navigator controller instead of keyboard on my left hand, and mouse on my right. Best of both worlds, really. Analog movement and precision aiming!

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^This, you can use literally every controller under the sun. You just need adapters and drivers for them (of which there are many) and you're all set. You can use Wii remotes, PS4 controllers, XBone controllers, Steam controllers, Gamecube controllers, N64 controllers, you can even use Dreamcast controllers if you really wanted to.

Or if you are completely crazy:

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or if you're totally batshit crazy...

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The other thing: Always, always there'll be someone crazier

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Try Bulletstorm.

I am not that good a player and I have finished playing through the game 5 times. It is only about $5 now and the game is just plain ol' hella fun.

Oh, the world is full of mad people... I admire this guy, however. Knowing DS1, and this dude with a guitar hero controller wit like half the commands... And he actually beat it...