First, also i will shit on your mum and scream in

Skump here

That was MeGotRicecakes with Broskis in arms

I’m gonna be reviewing Company of Heroes, as well as its expansion, Opposing Fronts.


Company of Heroes is an RTS by Relic software that allows you to play as the American, and Werhmacht armies. With the expansion pack you can also play as the British and Panzer Elite.


This game is maybe the most realistic RTS I’ve ever played. Your troops tactically use cover, and when they fire, the bullets actually have to make contact with the enemy to cause damage, and when they throw grenades, the physics are extremely realistic for an RTS, due to the Havok engine. The grenades bounce, and the physics are as real as ragdoll physics can get. The walls and building physics are great, at least for the buildings and terrain. Walls and buildings break and deteriorate realistically and provide different levels of protection accordingly. The terrain physics are pretty simple, but believable. An open field provides little cover, but if it’s been shelled so much that craters and trenches have formed, your men will crouch and lay in them. If you’ve played The Outfit, a FPS/RTS hybrid also made by Relic for Xbox 360 (LOL) then you may be familiar with the ‘Crumble’ physics effect you get when hit by explosive weaponry. In that game the effect was stupid and comical. In Company of Heroes it adds a nice touch, as the infantry break into bloody, charred pieces, rather than crispy turds as in The Outfit.


Physics aside, the graphics are somewhat mediocre during cutscenes, as the models and textures are exactly the same as during gameplay. When you’re actually playing and zoomed out, the models look pretty damn good, but zoomed all the way up, with cinematic camera angles, you’re looking at the same 320x240 textures, except at the resolution of your monitor.


The gameplay is pretty fast-paced, but not so fast as in Starcraft or Command and Conquer, where more clicking=more winning. You could play it like an RPG, by using a single powerful squad/vehicle and with the expansion pack, leveling it up and controlling it accurately. You can move your panzer back an inch to dodge that rocket, or move in such a way that your next shot will the ground instead of the enemy, causing wider area damage, etc. For an RTS, the options and pace are surprisingly varied, in a good and balanced way. Instead of setting a rally point and spawning X infantry, you can blow up Y bridge, topple Z building, creating a very dynamic and exciting environment for an RTS.


The story is touching, but it’s pretty much just Saving Private Ryan, with some realistic soldier tripe, honorable Captain’s dying a valorous death, etc. The expansion doesn’t really improve the story quality, and the Panzer Elite leaders accent just pissed me off so much that I never played their campaign.


Graphics- 6/10

Gameplay- 8.5/10

Story- 5/10