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Doki Doki Literature Club Obsession (depression thread)


#21

Hello first of all I just want to say sorry I’m replying to such an old post. I hope I’m not bringin up any bad memories, but I can really relate to what your saying. I feel the same way about Yuri even what you described below. I feel awful and kind of pathetic because I have a wife that I love, but these feeling just keep coming up.Also Im almost 30 which makes it feel even worse. I tried to just cut myself off from it but I can’t. I was just curious if the advice they gave you helped. Also I wanted to share and get this off my chest. Sorry for long reply.Thanks.


#22

Yeah it’s fine. Anyways yeah i know it feels bad. +2 empathy. But in my case i it faded away because i had gotten “depression” so i started watching anime alot which temporarily cured that depression. Then for some reason i wanted to get a real girlfriend because of the social interactions and life of the anime characters i watched. I wanted something like that. I tried getting a girl or started thinking about why i didn’t have one. I did some research and after finally getting red-pilled i realized that it all depended on looks in my age group and then it was about money at around 30. So knowing that i got suicidal which is the state of me now… or i don’t want to say suicidal because there are a lot of people that have it much worse but still. Then thinking about if i kms what will happen after and idk fucking hell it’s just a huge mess.


#23

First, go see a psych. Depression happens to many people, nothing to be ashamed about.

Second, you sound lonely and act as if a GF is the only solution. Do something social. If you can work start there. Do you have any hobbies that can be done with a group? Look into meetups, LANs, and conventions. Volunteering isn’t bad either. If it is a small town comic shops will probably be the Nexus of that cities have more options. Either way you are getting social interaction.

Third, focus on you. Exercise, besides that is healthy it helps with depression. Work, money doesn’t buy happiness but it does enable it. Just having something to do during the day helps even if you are just stocking shelfs. Apply to everything. Clean up your environment disorder and clutter. It allows you to take control of something simple and have an easy win. Diet, eating healthy can and will help with depression too.

You are talking about being redpilled. I assume you are getting this from the chans or Reddit. As an oldfag I can say getting life advice from other miserable people isn’t wise. You probably only have one shot in this cluster fuck so don’t give up. Basing you self worth on a GF is silly.

I have dating advice but you, the person, are more important than trying to get ass.

Good luck.


#24

Ok so don’t get me wrong. I’m trying to start a company as we are speaking and i have several hobbies and also do work out almost every day if not every other day.

I just with all that, still get no social interaction or anything. It makes me very depressed because if i way in another body I’d probably get all the pussy and friends there was to get.

I also think about that, you know after you die it will be an eternal sleep or like before you were born. It’s like, why suffer some years that is litterary x -> 0 % of all time there is and that has no impact on anything. And even if i do impact or do something great it doesn’t matter because everyone that observes that will die as well. Even if it goes into history. Our universe it set out to destroy itself because of entropy. So even if we solve telomere reduction and we can live eternally we will die anyways.

Point is everything is temporary and even if i do get a great social life and so on. Everything i like is based or some damn chemical reaction that doesn’t really objectively mean something. It just has meaning to my brain. It’s not universally good. Like in some parallel universe it may be cool to be lonely anon cunt.

idk

My hobbies is technical stuff like programming, electronics, gaming and so on. All on a chair which is supposedly unhealthy and life shortening. Being depressed is life shortening. Eating is life shortening. Even fucking working out is shortening your life because the cells divide faster because of high caloric intake and fast metabolism.

Fuck this


#25

I’m also fucking 6 feet 2 inches which should be a huge turn on for girls but still. I’m perma cucked. I must look really fucking bad for this shit.

At least from the redpilling shit.

Though I’ve analyzed my face symmetry, chin and some other face metrics and yeah…
it’s probably really bad.


#26

First I am a Nihilist, so I have heard all this before. You are talking yourself out of improvement.

There is so much ridiculous shit in this world to see and do. And then there is Pascal’s Wager, look it up. Recommend reading Nietzsche and looking further into optimistic nihilism.

Technical stuff there is definitely meetups and conventions. Could be a good space for business networking actually.

Exercising and many ways help increase life span you are being self defeatest. Eating like I said eating healthier (antioxidants) helps with that.

If sex is all you want about $60 and problem solved to be honest.


#27

but it’s artificial and not genuine.

I can’t really work with anyone because no one wants to put in that much work or want to be with me at all. And i’m only 16 so there is no chance of that shit.

that’s why i work alone and am alone a lot


#28

I currently only have 2 friends that i am with only at school because of like same retarded homour but. that’s about it. they won’t do anything because they just stay at home and do non-social shit.

or they maybe do that shit just exclude me because i’m really that unlikable


#29

16, Jesus, dude, then not much to worry about. Fuck average age for loosing virginity has massively gone up for your generation. 20s is becoming the norm.

Rosie palms should do fine at your stage.

Go hang out at comic shops and go to anime conventions and LAN parties.

Fuck I was depressed, nerdy, akward teen. I know how it is.

It gets better for people like us. We peak later and higher than the Chads. Keep with education and fuck everyone else. Other than grades highschool is meaningless.

Life is a game, get the high score. You are in the prolong, my dude.


#30

I have been in this exact same thought process. Like literally word for word.

The thing that stopped me was family and friends. Both of which experience this too but to a much lesser degree. I did not want to potentially start a chain reaction of further unsustainable depression in them. I did not care about me at all but them.

Eventually it reached breaking point, made the plans, was on the way out I basically had a week. There was an event at home, birds in the roof above my room, that caused a fight about fixing it because I could not sleeep. Took maters into my.own hand and went looking for a ladder to fix the roof. I had stormed out of the house in pretty crappy lounging house wear, hair a mess and skin all fucked up because I was not washing my face. Got to a friends house and asked for the ladder and they asked whatbwas up because I looked like ahit and was very angry. This eventually lead to seeing a councilor and getting medication and general help with something to do.

I was extremely resistant to wanting medication fearing it would change me personality wise and I would not be me any more. I am also a try anything twice kind of person. So I gave it a shot knowing I could quit if I did not like the results. It did not change me and helped an immense amount.

I took a few more.chances that I used to and put myself out there a bit more, everything was not so doom and gloom. So I got myself on a welding course with a push from family and friends,but crucially said to myself that I wanted to try it rather than shoot it down out if hand like I was doing.

I am now doing a lot better, outwardly normal. Making some more friends. Wanting to be social. Seeking relationships, or at least very open to the idea now and wanting to throw my self into that world knowing the ups and down that come with it. Over all more adventurous.

From what you have written it is very similar to what I was going through. It did not change the reality of the futility of life but quietened the raging internal monologues and constant self doubt. All that still exists but I can see the up sides more and more. This are hopeful now.

I would say give help a shot and see if it works out. No crazy internment in a mental home, just someone to talk too and maybe some prozac if that’s what they reccomend. It worked wonders for me. But this is a very individual thing with how it reacts.

Edit: upon further expansion while I was typing this. It is very similar to my situation. Just constant self doubt and self worth problems. I still gave them I just needed to be able to think with out having to talk to myself and put myself down. I don’t get voices, but just talk to myself and was my own worst enemy. The prozac stopped that. Cleared my head andni was able to actually progress with my thoughts rather than being in a negative feedback loop. That was the hold back point for me. Once that was helped I could go full speed into life. I have not changed in any way other than being willing under my own power to go and do things and not worry about myself or ohers.


#31

yeah but you at least had a connection to your family and i’m the only kid in my family. Also because of my situation i have no relatives. maybe the cause of my social incompetence not to forget that i look bad.

but yeah i’m talking here anyways because i don’t have anyone to go to and medication or some shit like that will probably upset my parents beacause they do not know of this and they will probably think i’m just overreacting to some shit


#32

although i do appreciate that you and Microsoft cares at all


#33

idk

from what I’ve heard i’ll just continue and see what happens.

but being how i am right now got out the nihilism thing. that i now can’t stop thinking about.

litterary just walking to the gym. i see someone walking beside me and imagining them dropping dead and what would happen to them

i imagine a card on the road just randomly turning towards me, killing me and what would death be if that were to happen.

i see death and imagine what death would be too often as a result of being lonely.


#34

like i didn’t even know that people would go and buy clothes together since i heard some people talk about it doing it today in class.


#35

and all of this would be different if i had some more millimeters on my jaw and chin.

nihilism is still a huge source of depression even in that case

i know i’ve been repeating this shit a lot now but…

and to think that me parents are religious makes me even more depressed because they actually think there is an afterlife

any insight i have into someone else’s life in the same age as i’m in just gives me depression


#36

I relate to you. And don’t want to see someone else do the same mistakes I did.

I got obsessive about finding a GF. That led me to putting my dick in crazy. Crazy got me kicked out of my house. Was homeless lost my ride to university. Got suicidal, failed. Joined miltiary chaffed at it but got to travel. Married another sociopath who was in the military too, got cats.

Got out, continued education while working for the Oil and Defense industry. Have 40 people who work for me and run a contract.

Life doesn’t truely become interesting until after high school.

Overall advice: focus on school, beat off, play videogames and fuck everyone else. Death really isn’t that interesting. Seeing how far you can push things is way more fun. Failure happens gets easier every time learn from it.

Your chin doesn’t matter.


#37

yeah i guess, let’s see how this progression to death goes.

nice video btw


#38

I am letting you know it is people like us who run the world. Just don’t get into the self pity trap. And even if you do you can get out of it.

I am 30 now life isn’t bad. I work a job that helps reduce the global population. Chad’s hold the door for me and the Stacies in this world filrt with me.

Hurting or killing one person is small minded when you can build better drones for the military, become a politician to enable said weapons. Deforrest some of the rainforest. Frac in a Chad’s home town.

And if what I said seems horrible oppose me that is a pretty good reason live too. And, I love good competition.


#39

In did not have a connection with my family. That was a large problem. We existed in the same building but not together. I could just see out and recognise how they felt which was more negative feedback for me making everything worse.

I do not look classically good either. I am different and do not generally fit in, but oddly that helps get me.talking to people. They try a joke and I do the typical Irish thing of turning the joke on me and then people brighten up, drop the jokes and actually talk to me like a person.

Itmupset my parents too, they did not know the extremes of it until I was in the car on the way to the doctor talking to my dad and it terrified him. But only because it had reached the point where people outside my family were ringing my parents and warning them something was seriously wrong they would not have taken it seriously. I had told them how I feel and they either could not deal with it or brushed it off as over reacting too. Now they know it is real and are just a bit more encouraging and understanding though they still don’t get it I think. But they know the limits now. Part of the very brief counciling was bringing in my dad and them taking to him too not just me because it was their problem and making as much as mine. That opened their eyes a bit.

Just continuing and seeing what happened never really helped me. Only delayed what ever was bothering me until something else took over.

I had those other.dropping dead thoughts and about what people do and think about that. It was an interesting thought stream but it was always skewed due to my own out look and lead to more negative reinforcement of my own ideas on the matter.

I wished every time I left the house that a car would veer off and hit me. I wanted everything in then world to do it for me because then I would be free of the consequences and the mental impact on others. It would not be my fault. It would just be a tragedy, not something any one could have done to stop it. Where if I killed my self then people would always have that doubt.

I went over dying a lot too. It is odd looking back on it, it has only been about a year. I still can rationalise all of it but it seems strange to think about it now. I think because I can see both sides better now with a clearer head. Where before I was the only thing that mattered. The viewpoint was very one sided.

I was not a social person in a regular sense, and it is funny you being up clothes shopping. I actually do that fairly regularly now with my best friend, both guys if that matters, and just getting opinions is something I would not have done before. It sounds odd but it is really comforting to be that open where I was not before. Used to hate clothes shopping.

Don’t worry about looks, personality is much more attractive than looks can ever be. And I know right now you do not believe that, I did not either, again I can think clearer now as a result of may things. A lot of which was being able to go out and do things. The medication got me over the first difficult step after that in was able to push myself out. Then as I encountered other people that became the positive force, just being social, not caring that I am not so attractive because we were talking and the mind is more beautiful than any physical presence. Partly why the internet is an interesting place.

What other think about an afterlife should not bother you. That is their problem. I am not religious at all and do not like it, but will happily discuss it with any reasonable person now.

Others lives did make my depression worse. They always seemed to have it better, cracked the code or got the breaks I did not. Now I just don’t care because everyone has something lurking eating at them. So yeah they seem to be doing well, but I know I am and what they think based on some vapid observations of a brief encounter with me makes me laugh now. They feel smug but underneath it all they have not resolved the problem. I am.still.working on mine but I am in control of it and actually making the changr. They are not and just fooling them selves.

As above. Check out that chanel it is good fun, though not always super happy and they know it and point it out. Which oddly makes me feel better after watching some. Almost like “other people know things are shit, I want to go find them”.


#40

well reading what you said all i get from it is to fuck off and continue with how i’m doing right now. which yeah sure. makes sense. instead of wasting the 10^-1000000 % of total time i have i should use it.

anyways i want to stop this thread for now. just the depression shit though.

but yeah it seems as it will get better

let’s just see

have a nice day all here, i have to code some stuff!

(still fucking depressed though but that’s only a background process now with less system resources)