The Drone
Drone I am your Grandfather. Feel the Fibonacci Sequence. Let it Flow Through You
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Drones get a bad wrap they seem take shit from everyone . Workers often kick them out of the hive when things get cold so that there is more honey for the queen and workers to make it through the winter. Queens prey on their emotions and discard them once they get what they want from them. Some people accuse them of hanging out in what they describe as drone bars when really they are at work. Some beekeepers even cull them because they see them as a drain on production in a producing hive. Nature even gets a jab in seeing as how not one drone ever has had a father. All OF THIS IS BULL SHIT! In this installment of Bee Syndicate I am going to correct all of the misconceptions about the the drone bee.
Drones are different in appearance from the general hive population primarily distinguishable by his size he is he has a hatching weight of about 200mg double that of a worker bee with a hatching weight of about 100mg. Despite his added girth this strong bee still moves at breakneck speeds able to catch the fastest queen in flight. The drone has no stinger. You know what he does to defend himself and the hive when threatened he flies around the head of the threat so fast he disorients the target keeping its adversary from achieving its goal. leaving his foe wondering what happened, or leaving the authorities ( like guard bees) to finish the job. Selflessly putting himself in danger with no weapons ( stinger ) to protect the innocent. These things combined with his superior vision afforded him by his double sized eyes basically makes him fucking Superman. NO I take it back he's braver than Superman because superman is nearly invincible as where the drone at the end of the day is still a tiny bee. “Look up in the sky!”... “Its a bird!…. “Its a very tiny plane!”... “It’s Super Bee Man!” To which he only replies “Hello Ladies” in a deep Barry White voice.
The drones primary role in the honey bee world is to provide genetic material to queens so that the race of honey bee can carry on. They don’t make honey or do any of the other tasks that a worker bee would do, but mating with a queen can be hard as the number of drones dwarfs the number of available queens. Mating occurs in areas called drone congregation areas. Each day the drones fly to these areas that I have heard of described as a sort of “drone bar, or nightclub” a place where drones hang out waiting to pick up women. I don’t see it that way. The Drones Job is to try and mate with a queen So its more like he is going to work. Working at a bar is not the same as hanging out at a bar I can a test to that. It's not easy work either. These workplaces are often far away and high in the air and staying up there takes a lot of energy. Drones are usually forced to return to the hive after 40 minutes before going back to the hive to refuel and then make the journey back to the office.
Pic : Drone congregation area
In the event that a queen arrives at the drone congregation area he has to compete with up to 25,000 competitors from as many as 200 other hives. Talk about a high pressure occupation. The poor guy's odds are about 1 in 1000 to fulfill his main goal in life. So if he does manage to bed a queen he makes it count. When the drone mates with the queen he holds her tightly in flight.
his penis inflates inside of her and clasps on his penis tightly grasp her vagina (or sting chamber) once the drone’s penis is inflated it stays that way for the rest of his life. However the rest of his life isn't that long because when he ejaculates he does so so forcefully that his penis explodes with a pop that is audible to the human ear disjointing him from the queen often forcefully. I mean wow have you ever had sex like that. I mean I hope you have never had sex in which someone's body part literally exploded, but to ejaculate so hard that you can hear it. You can’t tell me that guys don't want to be able to deliver that forcefully and women wouldn't find it very satisfying at least some of the time. That's some Ron Jeremy shit right? Only not as disgusting. I will submit to the fact that drones are comparatively large and quite hairy but not in the physically repulsive way that Ron is. Plus drones is far more monogamous. loyal to the end which is about now because the mated drone dies. and the queen moves on to the next suitor.
Ok get another bag out and put it over your head because I'm about to make your head explode again, and we want to minimize cleanup efforts. Ready? OK… Drones don't have fathers only grandfathers. I know that's freaking crazy and I promise I will cover the genetics in its own post later. But stay with me you haven't heard the mind blowing part yet. and I'm going to quote Wikipedia something that I don't normally do but I want you to be able to look this up super easy and know I’m not just making this shit up .
"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drone_(bee)"
Under the section called “Drone genetics”
second paragraph:
“Because the male bee technically has only a mother, and no father, its genealogical tree is rather interesting. In the first generation there is one member (the male). One generation back there is also one member (the mother). Two generations back there are two members (the mother and father of the mother). Three generations back there are three members. Four back there are five members. That is, the numbers in each generation going back are 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, ... – the FIBONACCI FREAKING SEQUENCE.
The Fibonacci Sequence is a pattern that is repeatedly found in nature and considered by some religions to be the manifestation of some underlying force that permeates the universe. Do you see what I'm getting at my fellow nerds that there is some type of FORCE from nature that has played a mysterious but powerful role in the creation of a drone bee.
OK so maybe the Fibonacci Sequence does not mean drone bees are little Jedi, but It just so happens that they might be able to bring balance to the Force. That is the pheromone driven force that controls the functioning of the hive. Bees communicate primarily through the use of pheromones. Pheromones are “a chemical substance produced and released into the environment by an animal, especially a mammal or an insect, affecting the behavior or physiology of others of its species“ Have you ever walked into a room and been felt like “There is way too much estrogen in that room “? Girls you know that feeling you get when you walk into the lunch room at work during that awkward silence after several co workers just finished a long string of back handed complements to one another? Guys you know how feel after watching The View for about 30 - 45 seconds? Well that's sort of what happens in the hive when there aren't enough drones. The hive doesn't collapse but the balance is thrown off. Some beekeepers have reported that hives without sufficient drone population suffer production decreases of up to 30 %. So put that in your pipe and smoke it all you bee keepers out there who cull out you drone population just because they don't “make honey”
Drones also help fan the hive to keep it cool when it's warm and, help in heat creation heat when it's too cool.
So the short answer to what a drone bee is would be they are fuzzy little superheroes selflessly secure the continuation of their race, who are energetic lovers that never betray their woman even if they know she will betray them, and they are experts with light sabers.