Or do what I do and break shit until you roll the number counter over nad get something fucking amazing
No, but I’m honestly considering selling my desktop since prices are so high
I can get by with my gaming laptop until prices stabilize again and then build something better for less.
The things that are always wearing on me are Windows vs. Linux and PC vs. Console
- I don’t like Windows
- Linux does basically everything I need it to do except play Halo multiplayer
- Occasionally games will break in Linux, but it’s very rare these days
- I can play Halo multiplayer on the Xbox, but I’d really like to be able to just do everything on my PC, but I don’t want to run Windows
It’s like I’m in a constant loop that could be solved by Microsoft not sucking any more, but I don’t think that’ll happen.
Honestly I kinda miss the days when I lived in the barracks and all I had was my gaming laptop because it’s all I had room for and I hadn’t found out about Richard Stallman yet.
Well plot thickens… wife found out how much I charged on my credit cards…7k half of it the card and other pc parts…
I lied about it… so now she is at her folks saying she doesn’t want a divorce yet…but that she would be fine and take everything and I would have nothing.
Hell, I make more than her…she thinks I’m using her for her money… last year we had to refinance the house because she spent 14k on her credit cards and I wasn’t upset…
Now she says I have to sell my guns, tools (I have a huge snap-on tool box and cart) from when I was a mechanic, pcs of course…
So she left me here at the house to cool off…but I’m tempted to just leave…I’m angry she thinks I don’t do anything for her (I wait on her hand and foot, make all her meals do everything at home. Massages every night, pack her lunch etc etc…does that mean nothing?
I know I was wrong to hide it, but I like to get things too… she got a 28k ring just two months ago!!!
I’m sad, upset, angry…I’m a mess basically or F.I.N.E. fed up, insecure, neurotic and emotional…lol
I will probably do a open ended sale if I can get approval from admins… I have too much and need to make as much back as I can as fast as I can. That would mean two complete systems, a server, networking stuff, switches, or break them down into components.
Just follow the BST rules and you’ll be good.
We don’t require concrete prices, but I do strongly recommend putting prices in anyways to minimize any tire kickers and low ballers. I generally use Ebay to figure out prices.
Ok will do
Disclaimer: I am not a relationship advisor.
But it sounds like it may be time to have a very calm and concise conversation about who does what, who spends what, etc. It sucks to have to quantify things like that because it makes it feel like you’re keeping score. But sometimes people lose perspective too, and need to see objectively that you are contributing too and they spend money too. I know from watching my parents that it’s easy to get trapped in this idea that going to work is the only thing that counts as contributing to the relationship.
And of course, to restore hope that would also involve discussing solutions to problems on both sides of the aisle. And to restore faith, that would involve actually exercising those solutions.
I dunno though. I’m not even married. And I know that some people would advise against it very quickly because it might upset someone, but IMO people shouldn’t avoid honesty/realism just because other people might throw a fit.
While I obviously don’t have the whole context, do not allow her to start dictating to you what you are allowed to have or have to sell. It will not fix anything, it won’t make her magically content like nothing happened, and it absolutely won’t make you happy. A straight and firm “no” is the only correct answer.
The other correct answer is it’s time to get help from a Marriage Counselor AND Financial Coach. You two appear to have had a breakdown of trust, and are engaging in fear based behaviors/reactions instead of assuming the best of each other. A marriage counselor can help you learn how to reestablish that trust as well as recognize the things that destroy it. A financial coach is a must for any marriage, aLilBabyOtter is spot on, it’s critical that both parties establish and follow ground rules from the beginning. Financial disagreements that spiral out of control are a huge killer of marriages.
Hate to see you go through this bro. Watched this sort of thing happen over and over growing up. If things get really heated, consider putting your most important stuff in a storage unit for a while.
I wanted to point out that taking care of their veterans is the least a country has to do. You sacrificed your health and outlook at a regular 9 to 5 life for your country and you owe them nothing. You should focus on whatever makes your and the life of your loved ones a fulfilled life.
On a different note, I have been building computers for over 15 years and I still sometimes damage or destroy hardware. It is the price of tinkering, and while it is frustrating, it is about what you learn from your mistakes.
If you ever need to vent, send me a message and we can hangout on Discord.
Never give up.
Give up tech, or give up gaming?
High end GPUs and other hardware aren’t required to learn tech. Anything you owned last year is still useful to learn how to code, build things, etc.
If you’re looking for hardware to play with that is actually available, try a Raspberry Pi or FPGA dev kit.
dude thats the shittiest advice you can give someone please dude your not married I dont mean to say this so directly but until you are dont give advice on things like this in the manner to which you just suggested towards him. Marriage isnt just a relationship which everyone seems to want to belittle it to.
Like seriously Im just going to be direct and honest to you rn. Shut up, like actually shut up this isnt the place to suggest to someone to say fuck it and make such a huge rash decision. its more than just him involved in this conflict
While in your eyes she could be one. This is someone you do not know. This is his wife to whom he clearly cares about. You have no place and no right to be calling someones significant other this. I tolerate just about most things but this is firmly riding on the line and I think you should respectfully apologize for what is uncalled for behavior. You could have worded this like “Potentially consider the divorce option” and then in no way would you have been so disrespectful
So my advice in this is have a calm conversation. Im not married but ive been in tense situations before and communication can go a super long way. I would open up by asking her what she needs and what boundaries she wants set. This USUALLY puts the cards in your favor. It also sounds like a good conversation about rolls and how money is spent etc is something thats well I guess over due. Some couples have split finances so this isnt an issue. Others have joint bank accounts so trust can be built through transparency. This is very individual.
Well this sounds like boundaries need to be discussed and set very clearly. Im no expert in marriage but the principle reason any of my relationships failed came from not setting those or blurring the lines…
That said it sounds like she is well taken care of and could use a couple chips off her pedastal. I would say that spending 14K without any consultation particularly in marriage is something I would not dare doing. Particularly if it had to go on a credit card. Particularly if the financial situation was less than perfectly exemplary.
I would say the issue is more about trust and boundaries than it is anything to do with your meals and massages and other things you do for one another.
Do you get my feeling here
Take a break for a while Haas. Focus on your marriage. Little victories. Finish one thing at a time the forum will be around when you return
You can peel my Am486DX2-66 from my cold dead hands before I give up tech.
This isn’t mine or other people’s first rodeo on the shortage train.
Aye but for other reasons. Tech is now completely made up of inbred monopolies. IoT, SDN, big data, quantum, and a few other technologies are going to allow the idiots to enslave. Now even car manufacturers are starting to track your every move and sell the data. :). Winter has passed it seems but the darkness is coming. I think we gave them something worse than nuclear.
Dude, cheer up. You have allot to look forward to. I was medically retired at 39 too, I turn 50 this week. Raised a daughter, she is going to college this fall. I have had medical issues since I retired, and discovered more, but I keep chugging along. You did your bid for King and Country now take the time to find what you want to do and run with it. 2020/2021 has been really rough on me, I moved to Japan with work, life is not easy due to all the restrictions and work was an abysmal letdown, but I am still at it. You have many that care about you, even strangers. Take care bro!
I wish I could give up tech. But to progress in my career, I must push on. I understand the frustration of wanting to give up after things go sideways. Sometimes I end up breaking a lot of things before learning how not to. I write it off as a tuition expense (just too bad I can’t claim it on taxes ). I hope Nvidia does right by you. As suggested above, taking a break could do well. Or maybe try a different aspect of the hobby if you’ve ever wanted to learn something else.
If there are issues with the marriage, don’t be afraid to seek some counseling. Money is such a relationship killer…it can bring drama and uneasy tension to every conversation. Getting on the same page on both sides is incredibly important.
Never fully give up.
Take a break.
I find it healthy to bounce around between tech projects, and home projects, such as fermenting foodstuffs.
One of the things me and my gf do to avoid situations like these is that we don’t have a “general” shared account.
We calculate fixed costs (mortgage, utilities, etc.) in advance and put that money on a shared account so we don’t run into annoying surprises. There’s some additional agreements about buying “consumables” (eg. food, but also printer toner, etc.)
For everything else we keep our own, separate accounts, so after everything’s paid for we do with whatever is left what we want as long as it doesn’t impact the other, in which case it of course needs to be talked through (like buying a pet that needs taking care off, or something huge that’d take over the living room, or the basement cough server rack cough )
Of course that’d only work if both partners agree to such an arrangement, so ymmv, but I’ve always wondered why more couples don’t do this, since money seems to be pretty high on the list of things to argue over…
I haven’t gotten to the bottom of the thread yet so if you answered these already, my apologies.
I would have had a hard time understanding this/empathizing with this, but I was hitting HYT (keep in mind not active duty but reserve) and it made some kind of mid-life crisis bit flip in my brain. I went from “freedom and locked in retirement would be great” to “WTF, you are putting me out to pasture!? F U you are”. Maybe its just simple reverse psychology lol. So I think I get you on this now.
My fix (that I will likely regret) is finding a new challenge- and I don’t mean hobbies. An idle mind is the devil’s playground. I think for many of us if we don’t have something that holds our feet to the fire (a boss, work, deadlines, etc) our psych health goes bad, fast. So if we are having a similar experience maybe getting yourself committed to something is a solution- maybe seems counterintuitive. Retirement is a death sentence for some. Eric Conrad (great security cert instructor) said he will never retire after he saw what it did to coworkers he knew. People that I respected a lot while in active duty and/or reserves I noticed didn’t revel in retirement, they would move onto another challenge- a civilian contractor job, or be a busy official at a VFW or something. We need something that involves other people so social rules help direct motivation, obligation etc than to just ourself.
IMO retirement here is just a word to explain your DoD status, you can get engaged into something again that puts you into a group and people and held accountable by at least some of them. Its those things that IMO gets people to break through walls of ‘I failed, I just want to tap out now’.
Have you had a hormone blood test done? I just requested one and it got approved. Listened in on some podcasts of a relationship between TBI and hormones. I don’t have TBI but got exposed to some other nardly stuff while in the sand box and want visibility on the things that really affect our mood and health- the huge array of various hormone production.