TL;DR: I got dumped and I really want to have a one night stand or to break someones heart
So hey... This will read/sound like a pretty sappy post and feel free to hate on me, maybe its what I need right now :D
So Im an 18 year old girl, although Im physically a guy. This already causes in itself alot of problems, but add to that that I am emotionally unstable and constantly break down and just... anyway. (BTW before anyone suggests I do actually get counseling but they dont seem to think anything is wrong with me, mostly because except my episodes im a pretty normal teenage girl)
So I was with a girl for nearly a year, my first ever irl long term relationship (although ive had a few over the internet) and she dumped me recently because "we were making each other unhappy". While I dont disagree with her and I was actually kinda happy when we broke up, Ive recently crashed and I cant think of anything but... to have someone. Just someone. Its the first time ive ever thought like this. Usually I have a specific crush or a girl/guy which I want to get with but right now I feel nothing for no one. I just want anyone to hold me and give me some warmth then go away... I dont really know how to deal with it and hey, this is the internet, if you guys dont like that I posted this I can always disappear :>
So you're 'bisexual' or 'Transgender'?
Bisexuality is a sexuality, transgender is to do with gender???
I dont actually think of myself as any "sexual" I dont really care enough to label myself. i love what I love no matter what they have between their legs.
And im not transgender as of yet, Im slowly going through the process of a gender transition.
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'Transgender' / 'Intersexuality' labels / nomenclature tend to be applied across a broad spectrum; I'm classed as 'Intersex' by my medical-specialist (ambiguous genitalia, but I also have to take Premarin)
I have no idea about the nomenclature, Im sorry <3 Ive never looked into it.
I know how I feel, and I know where I want to get, I know I am a female, I know the fact I have a penis doesnt matter, I dont feel the need to learn all the nomenclature.
Not that im criticising it, Im just saying that I myself try not too seek all that. Same with sexuality, race, religion, etc.
@sajkowolfe My advice to a young person like your good self, is take yor time! Your only 18 so kick back and enjoy being single! Pleanty of time in the years ahead!!!! Believe me, I kind of wish I could have my youth back again (I'm 29 years older than you...) :O)
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Are you talking to a doctor or gender-specialist?
@Schwarz_Wolf General Therapist provided by my university. Shes not a specialist but she said she will forward me the moment I want to start getting gender therapy (I want to finish university first)
@desmondbirch I wish I could, I really do! Im just very needy and get lonely quckly and im not sure how to deal with it :/
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Yeah, I fully understand.... I've been single for GET THIS................... 11 years!!!! Shock Horror!!!
Im sorry, I know very well I sound like a whiny stupid kid and get this.... I am XD I just wanted to vent a lil bit <3 <3 <3 <3
And hey we could always get together ;)
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What kind of warmth do you seek? When I feel lonely I usually reach out to really close friends.
I didnt make too clear, I want physical warmth. Basically, I want someone to make me feel good. ;-;
I have great friends and they have been amazing for the last few months I just... I feel like I need more.
It doesnt help that my ex basically used me as a tool "in bed" and ever did anything for me.
That sucks. :(
Like @desmondbirch said, take your time, you just got out of a relationship and maybe you just miss physical "contact".
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It's my definition of cutely hugging someone xD (I'm weird eheh)
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Breaking someones heart is a no, no. Like I said before hand, take your time!!! Trust me when I say that getting into another relationship so soon after a breakup is never a good idea! The last fling I had (back in November 2004) was with a woman called Lynda who worked at the same place I was working at. I had not long been dumped (for the 3rd time) by Clare Melia. Lynda (who was 8 years older than me) made her move and we started a physical relationship. Take note that Lynda was already in a long term relationship, plus she had a couple of lovers on the side! And if the truth be known, she wasn't my type. She was a lot taller than me and was quite aggressive in nature! Also note that her long term boyfriend came into the place where I was working, to have "a chat" with me. So, I hid (no shame in that) in the warehouse until after he had left! I broke it off with Lynda shortly after that.
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