Considering how cheap this was, and nobody else wanted to waste the 25 quid on dead end SSDs, I decided to see for myself.
What if I took an AliExpress pciex16 → 4x4x4x4 splitter, bought 5 of the cheapest M10’s I could find, and put them into whatever software raid thingy Windows comes with? What would the results be?
Well here we are:

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CrystalDiskMark 8.0.5 x64 (C) 2007-2024 hiyohiyo
Crystal Dew World: https://crystalmark.info/
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* MB/s = 1,000,000 bytes/s [SATA/600 = 600,000,000 bytes/s]
* KB = 1000 bytes, KiB = 1024 bytes
[Read]
SEQ 1MiB (Q= 8, T= 1): 4699.705 MB/s [ 4482.0 IOPS] < 1560.61 us>
SEQ 128KiB (Q= 32, T= 1): 4717.170 MB/s [ 35989.2 IOPS] < 860.80 us>
RND 4KiB (Q= 32, T=16): 4201.911 MB/s [1025857.2 IOPS] < 482.92 us>
RND 4KiB (Q= 1, T= 1): 176.434 MB/s [ 43074.7 IOPS] < 22.99 us>
[Write]
SEQ 1MiB (Q= 8, T= 1): 903.877 MB/s [ 862.0 IOPS] < 9251.83 us>
SEQ 128KiB (Q= 32, T= 1): 902.180 MB/s [ 6883.1 IOPS] < 4633.48 us>
RND 4KiB (Q= 32, T=16): 914.070 MB/s [ 223161.6 IOPS] < 2227.67 us>
RND 4KiB (Q= 1, T= 1): 95.945 MB/s [ 23424.1 IOPS] < 42.46 us>
Profile: Default
Test: 1 GiB (x5) [Z: 0% (0/55GiB)]
Mode: [Admin]
Time: Measure 5 sec / Interval 5 sec
Date: 2024/05/07 19:15:29
OS: Windows Server 2019 Standard 1809 [10.0 Build 17763] (x64)
The numbers seem quite high, which is cool. The total storage is pathetic, but the 32GB versions were like 8 quid each, and the 16GB ones were 3.71. I went with the cheaper ones because why would I spend more than the cheapest.